Pantomiming tampon in Rome

It was a Friday evening, at a dinner table for two, at a classic Italian pasta place, on a sidewalk somewhere in Rome. I was eating dinner with my friend Kim who I was traveling Europe with. We had landed earlier that day and weren’t staying long. We had train tickets to the Almafi Coast on Sunday. I shouted ” Go Big or Go Rome ” for the entire 36 hours we were there.

If you are a women reading this, you will be able to relate. One minute you are living your life and the next minute you think you feel blood releasing from your vagina onto your legs or into your underwear -if you wear them 😉

At the time I was 40 years old and already perimenopausal. I didn’t think I would even get my period the month I traveled.

I performed “the check” and sure enough, I found myself in a situation. It was around 8/8:30 pm and shops close early there. I asked our waiter where the nearest convenience shop was located, got the check and we made a mad dash for it.

Upon entering, there was only one gentlemen working. He only spoke Italian. I speak Spanish and it didn’t help. Speaking English wasn’t helpful either. Time was of the essence!! I tried making a sad look and rubbing my belly. It wasn’t working. I made a look of pain and couldn’t think of anything else to do but pantomime it.

B.I.N.G.O

It worked. I got what I need and off we went back to our Airbnb for a hot shower, to crawl into bed and laugh ourselves to sleep.

When I am old and look back on my life, this will be a memory I think of fondly. Life continues to unfold as time goes by and I hope you can laugh at yourself instead of being embarrassed.

When in Rome 😉

There is no such thing as (mostly) vegan

I got a new upstairs neighbor weekend before last.

I wonder how long will it be before I hear some sex noises? The Sounds of Fucking

I have had a delightful 1.5 month break. Since we are still in a pandemic, people aren’t on the move as much and the apartment above me has sat vacant since the end of November. I couldn’t be happier.

I have really taken advantage! I have been listening to music and movies in a louder than normal fashion

When I saw someone moving in, I had to pop into the hall and introduce myself. I am always baking treats & love to share. I also wanted to know if one person or two was moving in 🙂

Turns out she is single, which doesn’t answer all my sex noise questions.

I started to explain… I like to bake, I am vegetarian, I eat well / organic / dairy free when she mentions that she was vegan until recently. She went to see a nutritionist. Since then she has started incorporating eggs and fish into her diet. I can appreciate that. Lately, I have been hearing how challenging it is to get all the nutrients you need from a strict vegan diet. Did you know that vegans do not consume honey?!

As soon as I learned, I knew I could never be a vegan. I was mentioning this to my new upstairs neighbor when she started to launch into her thoughts and feelings on the topic.

Bringing up being a Vegan in Portland, Oregon is like bringing up working in the strip club in Anywhere in Life. Once you get on the subject – good luck getting off it.

I was bored of the conversation three sentences in. Especially when she said that if you eat vegan during the week and non vegan food on the weekends that you can be ( mostly ) vegan. Ummmm, no you can’t.

How bout I am mostly skinny during the week except on the weekends when I am not?

By pure definition alone you don’t get to claim the label. There isn’t a grey area here. You either consume animals / animal byproducts or you don’t. Vegans don’t get to walk around with leather purses.

I felt the judgement rising in me. I did express that I didn’t think you could claim a word that communicates things to others if it doesn’t really apply to you. Then I changed the subject to say I had some treats to share. The whole reason I brought up food in the first place. Was she interested in some Peanut Butter Maple Bars or Banana Nut Muffins? She wasn’t because she just ate to which I retorted , You don’t have to eat it now. How could I think she would be interested with the tensions rising between us? Probably all my fault. I don’t know why it bothered me so much for her to misrepresent being vegan.

A few days later, I made some “peace offering” chocolate chip oatmeal cookies and put them in a Ziploc bag with a note on her door that said “I hoped she was settling in nicely to the apartment and to enjoy the cookies whenever”

I haven’t spoken to her since. I want to have a nice relationship with the people I share living space with. Even if it is the shared laundry area in the basement of the building we live in. There are only eight apartments in the building. Four of them are Studio apartments.

AND THEN LAST NIGHT

I heard her and her friends plodding down the stairs and out the front door of the building without masks on, shouting “Fuck it, lets go to the bar”.

Oh no. This says it all. I don’t want to sum up a person I don’t know however this speaks volumes. https://youtu.be/HKk91x0Yg7Q Red flags are flying high.

I will come back and update this blog when I hear sex noises. So far, 10 days and counting noise free.

Say a little prayer for me ❤

Airbnb: No Good Deed Goes Unpunshined

When I moved into the house, I inherited everything that came with it. The slow filling flapper less system toilet. The creaky wood floors, the ill wired electrical system, the too tiny pipes for the water pressure, etc.

In the bathroom there is an old claw tub with one of those shower curtains that goes all the way around.  It hangs from the ceiling by the shower head and into the wall on the opposite side.  The wall isn’t solid and the screws have worn and the whole system is wobbly.  I have been hard pressed for an aesthetically pleasing fix. 20180502_064317.jpg

My guest this week mentioned he has the same claw tub at home.  He said that he has the same issue and he found a way to make it more stable.  He asked if I had a tape measure however it was late, I was ready for bed and said we could talk about it the next day.

In the morning on my way out the door, I reiterated that I would like to hear about this solution he has enacted before bed that day since he would only be around for another night.  Turns out, I did not see him.  I was in bed before he came home.

The following day I came home from work and was reading a book on the couch in the living room when he arrived.  He had come home earlier than the previous nights. He surprised me with bringing the things to MacGyver the shower.  What a nice gesture! Not many guests go out of their way to do something nice therefore  my heart-strings were being tugged on big time.

How much do I owe you? $15 he says. Hmmm- I don’t have that right now. I wanted to hear about how you fixed it.  I am not sure I would do the same thing. Even if I liked his idea, I wasn’t prepared to fix it before taking care of my tax bill to the IRS AND I was only willing to pay $3-5 to fix it.

He purchased unnecessary parts.  He didn’t measure the length from the curtain rod to the ceiling and bought 4 pieces of chain that were too long, a package of hooks and four metal rings.  I already had a hook for the ceiling and an extra ring for the curtain rod.  The only thing I would have needed is a proper fitting chain.  I am pretty sure that would have cost no more than $320180502_064242.jpg

So now here I am between a rock and a hard place because a guest was kind enough to take action and do a nice deed. It would have been nice if I was in a position to give him the full amount however I would be doing a disservice to myself by doing so.  I wasn’t going to hand over $15 that I didn’t have when all I really wanted to do was honor him in hearing his solution. I ended up telling him I didn’t have the money and I didn’t like how the solution “looked” so I would use one ring and one chain.  He understood and gifted it to me.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Would you have reimbursed him the $15?