Would you do it? Have you thought about it? Been tempted but refrained?
I have thought about it (a couple of times).
I am a very single girl. I don’t have children. I don’t have any pets and I haven’t had sex in years. Did you read that last word? Years!
I am not interested in going out to bars to pick someone up. I am not meeting anyone on Tinder or Bumble or Match or *insert app. I have never used the adult section in Craig’s List nor do I plan to. A few of my friends have and they recommend it. It scares me.
I can hear you now. What’s the difference between going out and going home with someone vs finding them on CL and hooking up? What about meeting online, then meeting in person and having sex quickly?
The answer is : I don’t know. It feels different. I know they will be leaving. They don’t live in town so I don’t have to have some awkward run in at the grocery story if it doesn’t go well.
One time I hosted a gentlemen from Canada who came down to attend a workshop at the Convention Center. He was staying with me for four nights. I was enjoying his company during the times we saw each other at the house. On the third day, very early in the morning, I woke up to a message that was meant for his old co-worker. He accidentally sent it to me before he went to bed.
He was telling a story about a road trip and a funny suggestion. He wanted her to know that he actually followed through with her suggestion they talked about. He wore lace panties all day to the conference and they kept him WIDE awake, almost better than coffee. When he came downstairs that morning, I had to inquire about what these panties looked like. He turned beet red and then became a good sport about it. Telling me about his shopping adventure at Victoria Secret’s-there was a sale so he bought three pair. He planned to try them all out. I suggested a photo shoot so we could send pictures as proof to the coworker. It was spontaneous, adventurous and funny as hell. I laughed so hard at times. I was rolling on the floor with tears coming out of my eyes. He was such a good sport about it. After thirty minutes of playing around some sexual tension started to develop between us.
After the photo shoot, we got ready for the day. He went to the conference and I went to work. When we both happened to be home for the evening, he invited me out to dinner and I decided to go. I took him to Bollywood Theatre . Even though I felt like I was on a date, I was aware of the Host/Guest relationship we had. I wanted to remain professional. I also didn’t know that much about him. I did enjoy his company and I was attracted to his body but I like to know more about someone before I get naked with them.
Nothing ended up happening.
I crawled into his room the next morning, the day he was checking out, to acknowledge the tension and admit that I wouldn’t be acting on it. I don’t want to bang and then he leaves. I don’t want to give someone that part of myself if there is only one opportunity to enjoy it. If I do ever have sex with a guest, it will be towards the beginning of their stay so I can enjoy them the entire time they are in town.
We decided to go to Multnomah Falls with his last few hours in town before he drives home.
I was thinking about him the next morning and decided to send a text saying hello along with a picture of Multnomah Falls from the day before
I couldn’t have guessed his response in a million years. He was married ?!?!?! He thought that now was a good time to tell me so that I could decide wether to continue to be connected. He wasn’t happy in his marriage. He said meeting me showed him he needed to deal with his current situation. This does not make me feel better.
I was instantly glad I didn’t have sex with him. He lied about quite a few things.
I know this happens all the time in life.
I’m glad I didn’t get involved and I will be on guard the next time a guests comes through that I am attracted to!!