Skibowl Cosmic Tubing is more like my cosmic dreams went down the tubes

I would like my $100 back please. I will not go back. I paid $40 for the tubing ticket. I pitched in $20 for gas since I didn’t drive. I made lunch, snacks and hot chocolate for the ride. We left 30 minutes later than we should of because I wasn’t feeling well. I had thrown up earlier in the day. I was still committed to going. It would be the last weekend for the 2021 season to go tubing. I don’t have a car. It is too challenging to find people to go on adventures and I had finally found someone to go.

Mount Hood is about 45 minutes to an hours drive from Portland, Oregon. There are 3 places to ski on the mountain. Starting with the top- Mt. Meadows, then Timberline and then Skibowl is at the base of the mountain. As you can imagine, when it starts to snow, the top of the mountain gets the snow first until it reaches the bottom. Skiing/Snowboarding costs the most at Mt Meadows. There is year round skiing/snowboarding at Timberline because of the glacier. Skibowl opens last and closes first. In addition to hills to ski on, there is a separate area for tubing.

Every year, nearby resident hope to ski/snowboard on the mountain by Thanksgiving.

Advertised

VS Reality

The weather on the way to the mountain was terrible. It required us to pull over and put on chains. The traffic was so bad ,we didn’t get there until the last run. No Refunds

It was all I could do to put my positive pants on and enjoy the ride. Made it to the top of the hill to encounter the longest line. No going back. It took over an hour to get there. Tickets had been scanned.

I had a hard time standing in this line. I bounced back and forth again before finally choosing the line my friend had committed to when we made it to the area initially.

I’m not sure how happy I would have been had we gotten there earlier. They sell tickets for 1.5 hour timeslots. How many times in an hour do you get to go down the hill considering how long you have to wait in line for one run? The run isn’t very long.

The only nice things to say about the experience is that I finally did it. I get to check it off the bucket list of things to do in Oregon before moving to New York.

Thanks Rick for being adventurous and for taking the time to take a photo. That’s me with my feet in the air 🙂

My History is a mystery

This handsome tuxedo guy will be 2.4 years old in a week. He is my heart. My fur baby! He is the reason I understand the phrase – Who rescued who?

He is the first pet I have owned as an adult. It only took a year, working from home, in a pandemic to think about getting a pet. I decided to adopt a cat from the Oregon Humane Society.

Pets were hot ticket items during the pandemic. The process of adoption had changed. In person visits to the shelter were no longer allowed. An application had to be filled out online. I learned the hard way the series of next steps. Not only did you have to be the first person to apply for the kitten/cat, you had to pick up the phone the first time they call you.

I missed several of their calls because I was at work during the day when they called. You can imagine my disappointment when I listened to their voicemail. They were sorry because I didn’t pick up the phone they were moving on to the next person. After missing a few calls, I became more dedicated.

Every day for a full week, I sat down at the computer at exactly 5:00 p.m., when the OR Humane Society posted the daily allotment of cats. I applied for every kitten I felt drawn to ( which was 90% of them )

I started being naughty at work. No matter what I was in the middle of when I saw the unknown number on my cell phone caller ID come in, I paused work to answer the phone. Then one day I was able to answer their call. One of the kittens I applied for previously was back up for adoption. Did I still want him? Of course I did!

When the stars align and you make an appointment to pick up your cat, you can either- grab and go or meet and greet. I chose grab and go. It didn’t matter to me who was in the box, I wanted him!

He was destined to be mine. The girl ahead of me chose the meet and greet option. Poor little guy had an eye infection and didn’t like it when the girl approached his head for petting. The girl made judgements about his behavior. She didn’t want him anymore….which means the next person in line gets the chance.

Everyone told me it was better to get two kittens at once. I didn’t listen. An insightful suggestion that would prove true four months later. I adopted another cat from the OR Human Society.

Have you heard of Jackson Galaxy? Thank goodness I discovered him. He was an intracule part of me learning about cats. I went down the rabbit hole and watched every single video of his I could find. Instantly improve your cat’s life with these 7 things

I wouldn’t be as good of a cat mom without all the information I have garnered from watching his videos.

Setting up Base camp, dust free litter, a water fountain, a variety of scratch pads and cat trees along with window loungers, toys, beds, and a wet food diet. Just to name a few

When the Monkey was an only child, he played with toys for hours. As he got older and when I added another cat, it has been a struggle since. I have been through every cat toy there is on the market. One day I looked through every page Amazon, Chewy, Petco, Etsy and the Shopping filter from Google had to offer. He just wants to harass the other cat at this point.

He will check out new toys for a minute or two only.

He doesn’t play with boxes. He doesn’t like to be picked up. He doesn’t cuddle.

He has the quietest purr which I have only heard a handful of times. When he decides to sleep near me it is by my feet. He is affectionate when he is ready for bed or in the middle of the night. He rarely solicits this affection, he just doesn’t walk away when I pet him.

I have only seen him make biscuits three times in two years. It was on a Sherpa blanket. The internet said if your cat doesn’t make biscuits then you haven’t introduced the right material. Once I purchased 10 different cat beds from Amazon and he didn’t use a single one of them.

He likes to cry for attention and then not play with anything.

One of the more unbelievable things to me is that he doesn’t make any noise while throwing up. Not a peep. There have been several occasions where I turned around and not even a foot away from me there is a pile of throw up in front of him. Another time, I was looking at him on a cat tree when he opened his mouth and throw up came out of it. Had I not been looking at him, there wouldn’t have been any auditory clues.

Every cat has their quirks. Thanks for learning about a few of the Monkey’s.

I look forward to as long as I get to have with him. I hope he gets more snuggly and playful. Until then, I will take him as he is xo.

Dear Men on Tinder

Please learn how to provide a decent profile picture. Let me give you some tips: Have a smile on your face, don’t use a group photo, don’t use a photo with anyone else but yourself in it, don’t be in the bathroom taking an awkward selfie, don’t have a picture of something else, and don’t have a scrunched up look on your face. You want it to be the best representation of you so we are interested in seeing more.

If the only reason you are on Tinder is to hook up, then by all means keep your photo without a shirt on otherwise you are sending the wrong message.

Please hear me when I say that most people don’t trust a profile with one photo only.

I never trust a profile with one photo.

Make sure your photos are recent. If you tell me they aren’t in your bio then I don’t understand the reason you don’t update them vs telling us they aren’t recent. Sounds like you are hiding something. If you are, it isn’t going to go well for you when we meet in person.

I realize we are still in a pandemic. Having a photo with your mask on doesn’t show us your face. I’m not interested unless I can see your face. Ya dig?

Now for your bio- We are looking at your bio to see if we have anything in common. We are looking at your bio to see if we are interested in what you have to say. You make it impossible by saying things like ” I dislike writing these”, and “I’m an open book, just ask” or having nothing to say at all.

I don’t want to match and then find out we don’t have anything in common. What a waste of my valuable time.

If you have to say you are normal/a good person, then you probably aren’t. These things don’t need to be announced. Just let them be true and live your life.

Have you heard of spell check? Use it! I’m literally looking at someone who is saying this> “I’m giving g this ste last try after one years been her God lord only fucking scam profile and God digger.” What kind of response does this person think he is going to get?!?

It isn’t welcoming and he sounds like a jackass. Not someone I’m certainly interested in getting to know.

When a person is willing to give you their phone number and you want to move to WhatsApp – I know you are a catfish. Busted!!!

Okay, I’m done bitching about Tinder. I hope some men read this and take it to heart.

You might have better luck with a proper profile picture and telling us a little about yourself in your bio.

Good luck out there.

Airbnb Stories: Running a 420 friendly Airbnb

Running an Airbnb in Portland Oregon allowed me to legally offer marijuana to guests which I didn’t mind if they smoked in the house. Public consumption is illegal. Out of towners need to be aware of this. It’s the main reason I won’t allow smoking weed on the front porch or out back. Don’t get me wrong, you will smell the distinct smell of Mary Jane while you move throughout the town. Technically though….. and not all cops are cool.

I used to be a cigarette smoker. “Used to” being the operative words here. It has been 12 years since I quit. It is by far has been the best thing I have done for myself. For that reason alone, there is no smoking Tobacco on the property. That’s right, not even outside in the backyard. Sorry not sorry.

You can find a marijuana dispensary in every neighborhood. Several actually. There are two dispensaries within walking distance from the house. The dispensary that was a bit further was one of my favorite places to go therefore I referred many many guests there. So many guests, that after some time, one of the budtenders they asked me if I was the “Julie” who was referring all the people. Yes, yes that’s me.

At some point the manager, at the time, approached me with a promotion I could not resist.

He had discount cards made for each of my guests to receive 20% off of their purchase. He gave me a laminated version of this discount card. They tracked how many cards came from me by assigning them the same number. That number is on my laminated card. They wanted to make sure the promotion didn’t result in a loss for them which means they also tracked how much of a discount I received along the way. I love this deal! It is a win win for all parties involved.

As a result of this dispensary promotion and laws in Portland for recreational use, I made welcome kits for each of the rooms. There was a small basket filled with paraphernalia and either a small nug or perhaps a leftover joint. There was hemp wick, a lighter, a small cheap $5 glass pipe and an ashtray.

You wouldn’t believe how much was weed paid forward. In hindsight it makes sense. My guest were traveling and they couldn’t travel with it so they left it behind. It wasn’t always appealing to me. I felt it kind to leave for my guests.

One time there was a sweet foreign guest who didn’t know what 420 stands for. She was very surprised! She rolled with it.

Another time I received the best review about the 420 vibe in the Airbnb house. The house was 3 bedrooms, two of which were for guests and the big bedroom was mine. Sometimes guests dealt with each other. I was always around.

I’m sorry- am I being too loud?

The longer I live the more it seems socially acceptable to be loud until 4:00 a.m.

People aren’t so tolerant of being loud at 6:00 a.m.

I don’t see the difference

People are sleeping at 6:00 a.m. you say

People are also sleeping at 10:00 p.m. – 4:00 a..m.

One time I went camping with my boyfriend at the time. My friend Natalie, along with her husband and children (whom were young adults), joined us for a night. We were having so much fun. It was a beautiful spot by the river. We were grilling for dinner, playing silly games, and having fun hanging out. Natalie and I have a lot in common. For one, we both share a love of electronic music. She likes Trance and we just have to forgive her for that.

I have always been early to bed and early to rise. This night would be no different. Going to bed early made me feel like a boring person in my 20’s and 30’s. I still feel boring at 46. I also feel well rested.

No matter where I am, my eyes want to close no later than 10:00 p.m.

The people camping next to us had different plans.

I realize that people are allowed to spend their time in nature however they like. I certainly was following my heart. Our camping experiences were going to be radically different.

They had their party, enjoyed their beers and listened to their music until the wee hours of the morning.

The following day, I woke up early. It was time to make breakfast. Natalie woke up and joined me shortly after I started preparing food. We both like to listen to music making meals. Insert electronic music dance party at 6:00 a.m.

Rise and Shine fellow campers.

If they can play music and party when people are sleeping at night, what is the difference for me to play music in the morning when I am awake and ready to have a good time?

The answer is nothing. Nothing is different. Spare me your evil eye and complaints that you are trying to sleep.

These pancakes are calling my name.

Roofie gone wrong

https://anchor.fm/julie-watson62/episodes/Roofie-gone-wrong-e18oj3o

Rohypnol: otherwise known as the date rape drug. It is a strong benzodiazepine. It’s not available legally in the United States. In other countries, doctors sometimes use it as anesthesia before surgery.

Rohypnol used to come as a white tablet that didn’t have a smell or taste. Drug companies now make it as a light green pill with a blue core. If someone puts it in a clear drink, the liquid turns blue. Some generic pills may not have the blue dye.

When I was in college, they held an event that was intended to educate young ladies how easy it is for someone to slip a pill into your drink without you knowing. They served non alcoholic beverages and used candy as the “pill”. The event was only 30 minutes long and towards the end you looked at your drink when they told you to in order to see if there was a piece of candy at the bottom. If there was then you didn’t notice someone slipped it in there and their point was made.

I am not a big drinker however I did go out to the bars a lot in my twenties. I even was a bookkeeper for a bar in Austin, Texas.

I went to see Marcy Playground at La Zona Rosa in 1998 with my jerk roommate. A couple of his friends went also. They like to party. I drove everyone there. It was the beginning of the show therefore I went to the bar to get a cocktail. My standard Capitan Morgan’s Rum with Sprite, tall not a double with a lime. I didn’t notice anything odd and went back to join the group of guys. I had maybe one or two sips of the drink and I didn’t feel well.

I excused myself to sit down towards the back of the room. There was a platform big enough to squat on. I put my head between my hands for so long and thought it would pass. I felt horrible, really really bad. I couldn’t figure it out. I don’t normally feel bad. I hadn’t had anything to drink. I couldn’t shake the feeling and eventually made my way back to the bar area. There were chairs to sit down in a particular section. It was off to Stage Left, away from the crowd squished together to see the show. The bar was crowded also but there were chairs!

At one point, I remember a couple of guys trying to talk to me. I remember they were sitting across from me and all I could see were their shoes. I remember uttering, I can’t talk to you right now, I don’t feel good and I’m going to throw up. This is all I remember. I was awakened by a person that worked there, shaking me awake. I had passed out with my head in a corner, body facing the nook, sitting in a chair. She asked if I was alright. No I answered, I am not alright. It occurred to me instantly that I looked as if I was drunk or messed up-passed out in the corner when in reality something happened to me. I followed up with that – I’m not fucked up, something happened to me.

I looked around for my jerk roommate and his jerk face friends. They were nowhere to be found.

I found my car and drove myself home. I only lived 10 minutes away.

When I got home, all those jerks were there. I become upset at the sight of them. What did they think happened to me? I drove them there, did they not think I would drive us home? They took said they looked for me and when they didn’t find me, they took a taxi.

I explained what happened to me and the response I got was – Damn dude, wish I had some of what you were on. I took myself straight to bed.

In hindsight, I am beyond grateful I didn’t get raped.

Curiosity makes me wonder the reason I wasn’t removed from the venue. It also makes me think the bartender was in on it.

Always keep an eye on your drink people. The person making it, the person serving it and the entire time you are drinking it.

Car2Go is now a no go

Car2Go hasn’t operated in Portland Oregon since 2019. I used to use it a lot!

In 2015, I saw one in Amsterdam, when I was travelling throughout Europe

These little cars would get me further faster. I am a bike only girl. In a pinch or if I wanted to arrive looking nice, there were Car2go options with bike racks on the back. You would look for this blue, circle, bicycle symbol to pop up when you hovered over the options near you on the app. The bike rack wasn’t ideal to use properly therefore I didn’t. After a couple of trial and errors, I found a secure, easy way to attach my bike that worked for me.

They want to charge you by the minute and they want you to start the rental before being able to use the bike rack.

One time, I received an email from Car2go asking for participants for an in person survey. I wanted to give my feedback and decided to attend.

It was 2015 and it just so happened to coincide with President Barak Obama coming to town.

I rode my bike over to their meeting location on the West side. Riding a bike allows you to move through the city differently then by car or on foot. I didn’t notice the street closures or traffic building up.

When I arrived, I was the only person that showed up. We waiting 15 minutes after start time and decided to proceed without anyone else. There were five men from Austin, TX. They sent out 500 email, received nine replies for participation, and ended up with just me. Since I was already on display, I said no to their request to record the focus group.

They were curious about how users are interacting with the bike racks. It turns out a lot of them are being returned broken and they couldn’t figure out why.

Eventually they asked me to give them a demonstration. As we walked towards a Car2go with my bike, I mentioned that if they wanted me to show them what I really do then they have to promise not to revoke my privileges.

They will revoke your privileges if you get into an accident that is your fault. I learned this the hard way. It was your classic accident where I was crossing an intersection through a residential neighborhood and I couldn’t see the lanes furthest from my view. I was halfway through the intersection. A pregnant girl T-boned the vehicle. Thank goodness no one was hurt.

After this, I would never use a Car2go again. Thanks for the memories.

Crying at the Louvre

First they were tears of sadness and then they were tears of joy.

It was my first time to travel to Europe. I went with a friend I have known for a long time and had not seen in a long time. We were both 40 years old, single and finally had jobs that allowed for us to travel internationally. She makes twice as much money as I do but that really doesn’t matter.

We started our travels in Amsterdam. We only stayed for a night since that is where we landed. Our plans were to see France for a week followed by a week in Italy.

After one crazy night in Amsterdam, we took a high speed train in the morning to Paris.

The train was a 3 1/2 hour ride. My friend is the one who wanted to go to France so I let her plan our week there. I would have done anything and if there was something I really wanted to do, we put it on the list. The same for her. I wanted to go to Italy so I planned all of our Italy adventures.

One of our days in Paris was a rainy day which made it the perfect day to check out some museums. In addition to the Louvre, we would go to the Musee d’Orsay.

We started our museum day when the Louvre opened. We knew it would be busy.

If you have not been, this museum is the largest museum in the world. We were making our way through the museum when at some point it was time to use the restroom. As we continued on, a piece of art caught my eye therefore I reached for my cell phone to take a picture and couldn’t find it anywhere. As the reality of the situation descended upon me, I raced back to the last place I knew I had it. It had only been an hour since we arrived and yet the museum was filling up quickly. Tears started to fall down my face as I moved through a sea of people going the opposite direction saying ” excuse me please, pardon me”. I made it to the ottoman where I last had my phone and sat down for a full on cry since my cell phone was no where to be found. Suddenly my friend, whom you would think would have been supportive, is giving me a hard time for crying in public and is accusing me of not being able to control my emotions. This makes the stressful situation worse. We start to get into a bit. How dare she criticize me?! It makes no difference to me what other people think. I am not afraid to show emotion in front of others. I did not involve other people in my situation. We just got to Europe. We aren’t traveling home together. How am I going to get another cell phone right away > set up in the way I needed? Besides, all the photos and contacts gone-

This woman working at the Louvre, in the Red Room, we were sitting/arguing in- approached us. She only spoke French. I only speak English and some Spanish. Our conversation was non verbal and you could tell she was telling me not to cry and not to worry. She pointed to a sign in the room that provided the room number. Somehow managed to communicate that I needed to go downstairs to “information”. I stopped crying, went downstairs, and found the place she was talking about. Stood in line for a few minutes and then told the person that I lost my cell phone in Room #. They walked away and came back with my phone!!

I couldn’t believe it. I told my friend we had to go back and find that lady so I could thank her. No words were needed when she saw me approaching with a large smile on my face and my arms open wide to embrace her with thanks. As we hugged, tears of joy rolled down my face.

Can you believe it? I lost my cell phone at the Louvre and got it back.

Bucket List Hot Air Balloon Ride was dumb.

Why is it so hard to do things as a Single person?!?!?!

Do you know how long it took me to feel comfortable to do things by myself?! When I was younger, I would pretend to stand outside the movie theater “waiting for a friend” until the last minute and then go watch the movie by myself. It was the first activity I could muster up the courage to do solo.

Shopping is easy to do alone. Grocery Shopping and Clothes shopping. Even though you won’t have a friendly opinion, I found it to be a shame free solo activity. You can always ask the sales clerk for their opinion. Be Careful- their motivation for saying nice things could be money via a commission. (Random Strangers in the store are good for an honest opinion)

Going on a Hot Air Balloon Ride has been on my bucket list for some time now.

The pandemic has changed the way their business operates. I understand. I want to be safe which is why I chose this outdoor activity to get out of the house after 6 months.

Currently the basket for the Hot Air Balloon is divided into four corners. Each corner can hold two people and they won’t allow a single person to take up a corner. How am I ever going to get on this hot air balloon? He said if the balloon was already going up and there was an empty corner, they would let me join.

I found a friend to join! Yay!! Then a week before our trip he hurt his leg. I called the hot air balloon place to ask if I could modify the reservation to just me. They would let me go by myself if and only if they didn’t resell the seats. The last minute change was going to work to my advantage.

They didn’t sell the seat. I got to go by myself. All the details were different. The ride was switched from 6:30 am to 3:00 p.m. It was a hot sunny day. The air for the balloon made it even hotter. Everyone was miserable. You could see it on their faces. Sweat dripping down for the entire ride. I sat down a few times in my tiny square. If there was another person with me, I wouldn’t have been able to do that. We didn’t go very high. We didn’t go very far. We didn’t travel fast. We didn’t feel a breeze in the air. The view was beautiful.

We landed in a farming field. They had a couple of spots to use. They made friends with the farmers. When we landed they gave the farmer a bottle of wine. They wanted us to help push the air out of the balloon ( that was fun ), tie up the balloon and push the basket into a trailer ( I couldn’t do either of those with a frozen shoulder). Then we loaded up into a van for our thirty minute ride back to the airport.

Even though I wanted the money I paid for this adventure back , I still felt pressure to tip. I wouldn’t do it again.

Don’t take my word for it. Maybe you will love it. I hope you do find out for yourself considering what the experience cost.

My favorite part: Crossing something off my Bucket List.

Pantomiming tampon in Rome

It was a Friday evening, at a dinner table for two, at a classic Italian pasta place, on a sidewalk somewhere in Rome. I was eating dinner with my friend Kim who I was traveling Europe with. We had landed earlier that day and weren’t staying long. We had train tickets to the Almafi Coast on Sunday. I shouted ” Go Big or Go Rome ” for the entire 36 hours we were there.

If you are a women reading this, you will be able to relate. One minute you are living your life and the next minute you think you feel blood releasing from your vagina onto your legs or into your underwear -if you wear them 😉

At the time I was 40 years old and already perimenopausal. I didn’t think I would even get my period the month I traveled.

I performed “the check” and sure enough, I found myself in a situation. It was around 8/8:30 pm and shops close early there. I asked our waiter where the nearest convenience shop was located, got the check and we made a mad dash for it.

Upon entering, there was only one gentlemen working. He only spoke Italian. I speak Spanish and it didn’t help. Speaking English wasn’t helpful either. Time was of the essence!! I tried making a sad look and rubbing my belly. It wasn’t working. I made a look of pain and couldn’t think of anything else to do but pantomime it. I put my leg up and made a motion toward my vagina like I wanted to put it there.

B.I.N.G.O

It worked. I got what I need and off we went back to our Airbnb for a hot shower, to crawl into bed and laugh ourselves to sleep.

When I am old and look back on my life, this will be a memory I think of fondly. Life continues to unfold as time goes by and I hope you can laugh at yourself instead of being embarrassed.

When in Rome 😉

There is no such thing as (mostly) vegan

I got a new upstairs neighbor weekend before last.

I wonder how long will it be before I hear some sex noises? The Sounds of Fucking

I have had a delightful 1.5 month break. Since we are still in a pandemic, people aren’t on the move as much and the apartment above me has sat vacant since the end of November. I couldn’t be happier.

I have really taken advantage! I have been listening to music and movies in a louder than normal fashion

When I saw someone moving in, I had to pop into the hall and introduce myself. I am always baking treats & love to share. I also wanted to know if one person or two was moving in 🙂

Turns out she is single, which doesn’t answer all my sex noise questions.

I started to explain… I like to bake, I am vegetarian, I eat well / organic / dairy free when she mentions that she was vegan until recently. She went to see a nutritionist. Since then she has started incorporating eggs and fish into her diet. I can appreciate that. Lately, I have been hearing how challenging it is to get all the nutrients you need from a strict vegan diet. Did you know that vegans do not consume honey?!

As soon as I learned, I knew I could never be a vegan. I was mentioning this to my new upstairs neighbor when she started to launch into her thoughts and feelings on the topic.

Bringing up being a Vegan in Portland, Oregon is like bringing up working in the strip club in Anywhere in Life. Once you get on the subject – good luck getting off it.

I was bored of the conversation three sentences in. Especially when she said that if you eat vegan during the week and non vegan food on the weekends that you can be ( mostly ) vegan. Ummmm, no you can’t.

How bout I am mostly skinny during the week except on the weekends when I am not?

By pure definition alone you don’t get to claim the label. There isn’t a grey area here. You either consume animals / animal byproducts or you don’t. Vegans don’t get to walk around with leather purses.

I felt the judgement rising in me. I did express that I didn’t think you could claim a word that communicates things to others if it doesn’t really apply to you. Then I changed the subject to say I had some treats to share. The whole reason I brought up food in the first place. Was she interested in some Peanut Butter Maple Bars or Banana Nut Muffins? She wasn’t because she just ate to which I retorted , You don’t have to eat it now. How could I think she would be interested with the tensions rising between us? Probably all my fault. I don’t know why it bothered me so much for her to misrepresent being vegan.

A few days later, I made some “peace offering” chocolate chip oatmeal cookies and put them in a Ziploc bag with a note on her door that said “I hoped she was settling in nicely to the apartment and to enjoy the cookies whenever”

I haven’t spoken to her since. I want to have a nice relationship with the people I share living space with. Even if it is the shared laundry area in the basement of the building we live in. There are only eight apartments in the building. Four of them are Studio apartments.

AND THEN LAST NIGHT

I heard her and her friends plodding down the stairs and out the front door of the building without masks on, shouting “Fuck it, lets go to the bar”.

Oh no. This says it all. I don’t want to sum up a person I don’t know however this speaks volumes. Red Flags are flying high.

I will come back and update this blog when I hear sex noises. So far, 10 days and counting noise free.

Say a little prayer for me ❤

Your Unsolicited Advice

is not welcomed.

I have been receiving a lot of it lately. Even though it is from friends, when it is coming my way, every cell in my body rises up in rejection of it. If I didn’t ask, then I am not open to receiving. Recently, I decided that living my best life requires kindness and radical honesty. I’m still learning how to delivery radical honesty in a way that isn’t off putting. I will continue to practice until it comes naturally since I genuinely do not wish to harm others. I just have to stay true to myself.

There are times when I will seek the advice of others. When I do- I am all ears. Getting a different perspective from someone who is not emotionally involved in the situation but cares about you has provided a pathway forward many times for me. Maybe your friends aren’t the best people to provide advice – I highly recommend finding a therapist you trust or a mentor. Someone to confide in about the things you think about and go through. Whether you have to pay them (therapist) or it’s is free (mentor) FIND SOMEONE.

Have you heard of the Iceberg metaphor?

How is it possible to see anything below the surface when you are interacting with people you just met and/or aren’t going to be with long? Especially if you are in an Opinion situation.

There are many factors to consider when hearing a persons opinion. I like to consider the source (be familiar with most of their iceberg) before I absorb their advice.

Some people don’t want to get that deep which doesn’t make them exempt from the lower part of the iceberg. They just won’t be vocal about it. Which will take longer for me to figure it out. These types of people I don’t normally seek advice from.

Strangers just aren’t equipped to give quality advice. Even your friends with their best of intentions are subject to below the iceberg influences. People can only meet you at the level they are on. They only have the information you have given them to work with. We all know we don’t share every nitty gritty detail to every story you share with friends. We analyze that stuff on our own. When we are analyzing we have to remember we are limited with the lens we look through life at. I have found that even well intentioned people have a hard time empathizing. Sympathizing is easy. Empathizing is harder. It requires you putting yourself in another person’s shoes. You have to suspend your lens that you use to look at life with and imagine someone else’s. It’s hard.

Even simple things like buying weed, going to the movies or a new place to eat is influenced by the entire ice berg.

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When I go to the marijuana dispensary, I am not open to the bud tenders suggestions. I end up just saying no a bunch of times. Not only is it not a fun experience for me, it is a waste of time. I know what I like, how the strains work. I understand about terpenes, CBD, edibles, how I like my flower trimmed, etc. I am fine tuning my response to being asked – What can I get for you? when I walk in the door. I need a moment to look please and then I can let you know. This is when the predictable questions begin. I am not sure I can escape it no matter how clever of a response I come up with.

It is the same reason I don’t let Yelp reviews influence my decisions about movies and restaurants. Just because someone I don’t know doesn’t like a movie, doesn’t mean I am not going to. Just because someone I don’t know doesn’t like the food at a particular restaurant doesn’t mean I am not going to. I am going to go get an opinion for myself. Maybe I like the taco your taste buds didn’t. Maybe I like movies based on real life stories and over priced candy.

There are certain opinions I will take into consideration from strangers. You can speak about the service you received, how you were treated, and how clean a place was. If your opinion is negative then it needs to written without intense emotion or your point gets lost and it looks like you just want to complain.

I had a mole on my breast I wanted to get checked for Cancer. I didn’t have insurance and I didn’t know where to begin. I asked a nurse working in the NICU at the hospital where I volunteer every Sunday ( before COVID ). She reached to a friend of hers for a recommendation and gave me a name of a Doctor.

I Googled him. There were several poor reviews. The reviews were similar in nature which increases their chances of being accurate. The reviews explained how each of them didn’t like the way they were treated. They could hear the Doctor and his assistant speaking poorly about them. They said he had terrible bed side manners. They felt like he didn’t want to be there. You already know I didn’t go there.

Instead I continued my online research until I found a place with a 5 star rating (with 10+ reviews) It happened to be in the most expensive part of town (of course). Well worth the piece of mind! After my experience there, I made sure to leave a 5 star review. Do you know how hard it is to maintain a 5 star review as a business? It just takes one person to bring it down. They wouldn’t be allowed to respond or it would create a HIPAA violation. P.S. The mole was not cancerous and I wouldn’t do anything different if I had to do it over again.

I’m going to be 46 years old this year, I know what to do. Maybe I am doing it. Maybe I’m not but I sure as heck don’t need someone inserting their unsolicited advice into my life.

Let me ask you for advice so I am all ears. I am also here if you need me. We aren’t on this journey of life alone. Not to worry. I want to know what you think. Just let me ask ❤

The Sounds of Fucking

are all I hear right now at 11:48 p.m. on Friday night.

My upstairs neighbor is getting laid. This will make the third time in Portland that I have lived in a place with walls thin enough to hear people cough. Of course I am going to hear them fuck!

The fact that we are all staying home more due to the Corona virus doesn’t help with the privacy factor. I work from home and I am self isolating at home. Leaving only for food, weed, and the self service station at the post office.

This means I see the patterns of my neighbors lives in a way that would have not been apparent to me pre-Corona virus times.

I don’t mean to be a hater. I’m not jealous even though I can say I wouldn’t mind if it was me getting laid. I will even admit that I watch porn so clearly I don’t mind sex noises ( I like them when I chose to hear them ) ( or make them ). I just don’t want to be in the position where I can’t escape other people’s sex noises.

The first time I couldn’t escape was when I first moved to Portland, Oregon. I moved into a basement apartment. A family had turned the basement of their home into a 3 bedroom rental situation. Only one of the bedrooms had a bathroom in it. Each bedroom had its own locked door. I shared the other bathroom with the third roommate. Otherwise we shared the kitchen and the living room.

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The roommate with the bathroom in his room turned out to be into the BDSM lifestyle. He was a Dom. He had many Submissives. At one point, I think I saw a different girl every day for 5 days in a row. He didn’t discriminate. The women came in all shapes and sizes. Gotta give him credit for that. It was just all the sex noises. How would you like to be constantly woken up in the middle of the night to loud fucking sounds?! I would yell through my wall sometimes – ” for the love of god, please just turn on some music”

I rather be woken up to music than the sounds of his fuck session. One time the other roommate and I sat outside his door at 5:00 a.m. and made loud fake sex noises of our own. That’s was fun! We laughed so hard for months. Another time, I was walking in the door from a long hard day of work, just to be met with the sounds of the Dom at it again. I yelled again for music.

I realize sex is a part of life. It is natural. It is fun. Where does the line get drawn when the walls are thin and it affects the people you live with?

Eventually I moved. Fast forward 7 years later…. I move into a studio apartment- by myself. I am excited to live alone again after not being able to do so for four years. I moved into a building with 8 apartments. I met one of the neighbors right away, a nice younger couple that have been in the building for eight years. I had not had the opportunity to meet the person who lived above me before I “heard” him. One weekend was especially bad. I couldn’t sleep because all I could hear was his music. It wasn’t obnoxious however I could sing along with the words of the song playing. If I am unable to sleep because the music is too loud, we have a problem. Second to bodily pain, nothing makes me grouchier than lack of sleep. It was about 11:30 p.m. when I started banging on the ceiling with a broom. No change made. Around 2:00 a.m. I plugged my Goal Zero external speaker into my cell phone, turned it up as loud as it would go with electronic music and placed it on the highest surface I had facing the ceiling. No change made. Normally I would have a conversation but here it was in the middle of the night, I was naked, I had been banging on the ceiling and playing loud music with no results. I was mad. I couldn’t even entertain the visual of a conversation. When the sex noises came at 5:30 a.m. I found a YouTube clip to play to let them know I could hear them – I rather hear this than the neighbor

Do you think they got the point? I can hear everything. I want you to know that I can hear everything. I really need to replace my earplugs.

I didn’t have to deal with it more than a couple months because he moved. I live in a great location therefore it didn’t take long for a new person to move in. This time I made sure to introduce myself right away. There was a gentlemen helping her move which she said was just a friend. I wanted her to know the walls are thin and if there was ever a time my music was too loud, she could give a friendly bang or text me and I would turn it down. I was wishfully thinking it would translate into her being aware ALL sounds can be heard through the walls.

Everything was going along nicely….

Until the sex noises started. FML. I wasn’t going to play the sex noises in retaliation. I didn’t want to change the dynamic of our friendly relationship. I dealt with it. It started to become more frequent and I found myself in the same situation. I rather hear music than the sounds of other people fucking. This Michael Jackson song is a great distraction – It is six minutes long, which is plenty of time for my neighbors to wrap it up. I really like it which means I get into it and can forget for a few minutes that I am bothered.

After listening to it a handful of times, I think I need to switch up the song. There could be the potential for miscommunication. Wanna be Startin Something? LOL

Do you have a suggestion for me? I need a couple go to songs. In the moment when I am scrambling, my mind can go blank and then I reach for MJ. I have mixed feeling about MJ after watching the Neverland Documentaries.

Do you think it’s rude of me to turn up music to drown out the sex noises coming from my upstairs neighbor? Is it reasonable to say that since I am the only person I can control, that I am making the necessary adjustment for my comfort?

I am not entirely sure which side of the coin I land on. I do know that I just want to get to sleep peacefully. In a nice, dark, quiet, and cold room. Where you will find me naked. Puhlease don’t mess that up for me unless you want to be drowned out with song.

Goodnight everyone.

4 guys & a raft to the rescue

When I worked at an Outdoor Gear store, I went on all the kayaking trips they had to offer and took a couple of safety courses specific to paddling. It is important to know multiple ways to re-enter your kayak if you find yourself in the water for some reason. Most of the trips I went on were on flat water and only once did I go Sea Kayaking. I would consider myself to be an intermediate level kayaker.

One Saturday, I decided to join a couple coworkers on their swift moving water kayak trip for the day. They were going to Husum Falls. Husum Falls is located on the White Salmon River in Washington. It has a 12 foot drop, is a class V waterfall, and is one of the 5 Tallest Commercially Rafted Waterfalls in North America. There is a bridge near by where spectators can watch people “run the falls” – Husum falls Halarity

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Since this would be my first time on fast moving water, I figured it best to let my coworker friend, aka: the outdoor school Tour Guides, pick out my boat. They were the experts after all. To this day, I still have no idea why he chose an inflatable kayak.

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inflatable kayak pictured

No sooner had we walked down to the put in spot and got in the water, we were off. Water was moving fast. I was starting to get the feel of how to maneuver myself in the water using the paddle when the current took me, swept me into this huge right half circle, and into a cove of rocks where the side of the boat scraped along the wall. There was a huge hole torn it the boat and I sunk immediately.
Just like that- it was over. Just a few feet away was a embankment to the right. We hauled ourselves and the deflated boat up on the rocks to come up with a plan. There weren’t many options for us. Since we hadn’t made it very far, it was too far to finish the run. It was logistically impossible to make it back up where we put in. We had to wait. Wait for a person coming down with space enough to carry me and my deflated boat.

We waited on the side of water for hours. Frequently, other kayakers would stop to make sure we were okay or to see if they could help in any way. What a nice community of people to be in community with. Makes me want to paddle more.

There proved to be only 1 option for us that day. I still can’t believe how lucky we were. There was 1 commercial raft coming our way with one free spot and enough space to carry the torn kayak. We flagged them down as soon as we saw them!

4 guys were on a Bachelor party rafting trip. Their buddy was a guide and owned his own raft.

They were such good sports to let me crash. I told them all the Dirty Jokes I knew as we paddled down the river. My buddies made sure to paddle close so we could still be together.

After 20 minutes or so it was time to decide if we were going to “run the falls”. If the answer was yes- we would have to go through some practice exercises in preparation. There is a particular way to crouch down, hold the paddle and the boat, as well as a pep talk in case things go wrong. They all wanted to do it and I certainly wasn’t going to be the chick they were nice enough to pick up to hold them back.

I was nervous. REALLY nervous. I had thoughts of backing out up until the point of no return!

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We did it! I did it! It was fun and it would be the first of many runs for me 🙂

Some guys go to Vegas for their Bachelor Party….

I am so glad these guys decided to raft the Husum Falls.

I don’t remember what it’s like-

to be little.

Do you?

They say that the mind makes up things. It fills in the gaps. It doesn’t get the details right. It is safe to say a person’s memory isn’t 100% accurate.

How far back can you go with a memory?

I mean a memory that stems from you and you alone. Not a story that is told to you about when you were little or a story you have told so many times that you may know it to be true but if you are honest with yourself, you can’t actually remember it, it is something you have memorized after telling many times.

 

 

 

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Vacation Alone? Yes Please

Canada eh

This year I wanted to spend my birthday in Canada. I have heard how beautiful it is and I wanted to see it with my own eyes. People keep recommending taking the ferry from Seattle over to Victoria. Then I would continue to ferry up to Vancouver.

This birthday trip seemed like the perfect opportunity to make it a solo adventure. I have yet to take a big trip myself and I was ready for one. I decided traveling solo would be better partly because it can be challenging coordinating with other people and partly because every time I have traveled with others there has been some drama. I’m tired of drama.

I spend a lot of alone time already so going on vacation couldn’t be much different. It wasn’t. I loved every minute of it!

I really enjoyed creating each day to my liking. Going to eat whenever and wherever my heart desired. I didn’t have to feel bad going to bed early. I didn’t feel bad for not wanting to drink all the time. I didn’t have to be a third wheel or a fifth wheel. I enjoyed each and every day of my vacation.

One time I went to Puerto Rico with four other girls whom were close friends. Upon arriving it became so apparent I was the fifth wheel (and the only person who spoke Spanish). During our kayaking trip, I was the odd man out and paired with another solo person who ended up flirting with the instructor the entire time, leaving me stuck in the back seat miserable. Another evening we were invited to our Snuba instructor’s house for dinner. After dinner was over we were gathered in the kitchen when he asked us -“If you had to vote someone off the island who would it be?” It was such an awkward silence because we all knew it was me. Then the straw that broke me was the day they made plans on how to spend their entire day and they didn’t bother to ask me what I wanted to do. I didn’t like their plan. After crying in the shower, I decided to take my day into my own hands. I called the guy we went Snuba diving with and asked if I could go on the boat. I spent the entire day with various people in the Caribbean Sea. The following morning, I arranged a separate ride to the airport. I went to the Bodies exhibit and to play some Blackjack at the casino before catching the flight home.

One time I went to Europe with a girl I’ve known for a long time but hadn’t seen in over 10 years. I thought I was going to get this bonding sister trip instead she prioritized men. Making out with a man that worked at the Louvre when we were supposed to go for just a drink. Then someone how I am talking her out of going to his house for the night and meeting me in the morning when we were leaving for Rome. We made it to Amalfi when a local gentlemen came out of his shop to flirt with me. He invited us to his house for dinner and it was my turn to say we would go. My friend also thought the local gentlemen was attractive, flirted all night and in the end she was making out with him. This put a damper on the rest of the trip even though I refused to let it ruin it.

One time I went to Hawaii to visit a new friend. Once I arrived she was inseparable from her live in boyfriend and suddenly I found myself being the third wheel. I didn’t even like this guy which made it extra hard to deal with. I admired her independent spirit. She expected me to act with the same level of independence. I was hoping for some bonding. Since I wasn’t as independent as she was and she worked alot when I was there, it was a rough trip. In hindsight, this trip would prepare me for being able to move around more independently from that moment on. It would show me how to have fun by myself. Next level solo fun-beyond movies,meals and shopping. These skills would contribute to the success of my first solo adventure to Canada.

My solo trip to Canada was the best traveling experience I’ve had to date. I got to see the Nutcracker at the Royal McPherson Theater in Victoria. I met the nicest family from Australia in Vancouver. I spent time with myself. Traveling, resting, exploring, and connecting with fellow humans. Happy Birthday to me ❤

Where will I go next?

Calm Down

Does this phrase actually make anyone feel calmer?

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When it is said to me, it evokes the opposite response.

One day the washing machine at the house broke forcing me to go to the Laundromat. I like going to Spin Laundry Lounge because there are video games to play while you wait, their dryers are awesome, the prices are relatively reasonable and depending on which location you choose, there are snack options.

In addition to getting my laundry done, I was on a research mission for information about the Laundromat. My roommates have never been and they would also need to get their laundry done. I located two empty, smaller size washing machines next to each other and put my clothes in them. There is a spin dial to choose water temperature and desired cycle. I am guilty of not reading all the information before getting started with things. Today would be no different. I picked the cheapest cycle and swiped my credit card to pay. Then I realized there were more options. I wanted to wash them in cold water (which cost .25 cents extra). I guess it was too late. When both loads had finished, I took out the hang to dry items and loaded the rest in one big dryer. I went back to the washing machines to take photos to send to the roommates when I noticed there was a balance of .25 on the washing machine I had just used. I was confused by this therefore I located the only employee working to ask her what was going on. She followed me over, asked me a few questions and then said she didn’t know. She wasn’t even sure if they had gotten washed. Hhhhmmmmm that’s odd, they felt damp when I moved them to the dryer. She said it would have just done a prewash which would explain why they were damp. All I know is I needed my clothes to be clean.

It wasn’t worth taking chances so I went over to the dryer to pull that one load out to rewash. I expressed a bit of my frustration with this process and lack of knowledge when she suddenly says to me to ” I’m just trying to help you – calm down.”

The best part about this is: I wasn’t even that upset about it. I was just expressing my emotion. On a scale of 1 to 10, I was maybe a level 3.

I couldn’t believe she was saying this to me. I know myself. I know when I am being “extra” and when I am not. I know how people can react to me when I am acting “extra” and this situation wasn’t even close. Her words didn’t make me feel any calmer, like I said before it has the opposite effect on me. I immediately knew the conversation had taken a turn and we were in a different place now. A place I didn’t want to deal with. It can be a tremendous amount of work to get strangers to a place of real understanding of who you are and what you are communicating. It suddenly occured to me she was taking it personally. All she needed to do was give me the space to express my moment of frustration and we could all move on. So in that moment, the conversation was over for me. I told her, Thank you, I got it, and I didn’t need anything else. She walked away.

Over the years, I have come to realize when a misunderstanding is taking place. I would love it if everyone knew what everyone was saying all of the time. I also know that people are looking through their own lense at life. They can only meet you from where they are. Sometimes I take the time to correct the misunderstanding. Sometimes the moment is happening so quick and there is not time to do all that is necessary to get back on the same page. I made the assumption of how much work it was going to take based on her response of taking things personally and decided to just end the exchange. I wonder if this was the right thing to do.

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Another time I have been told to calm down, recently, was my first day in Spanish Conversation class. I enrolled in class through Portland Community College to solve a parking challenge at work and get more Spanish in my life. I work on the waterfront right in front of the Eastbank Esplanade in Portland Oregon. There isn’t any parking besides two private parking lots for business and one parking lot for a PCC campus. The class I signed up for is non credit evening class that takes me 30 minutes to drive to once a week however I love it.

The semester had been in progress for several weeks when I arrived for the first time. There was homework from the previous week that, understandably, I wasn’t aware of. I didn’t have the book nor did I plan on purchasing it. I was hoping for just conversation. It’s been years since I have taken a class and my Spanish skills were rusty. Midway through the class it was time for everyone to read their homework. Two jokes and a short story. There were only three other people besides myself and the professor. When it would have been my turn, I said with excitement, I don’t have any jokes because today is my first day. The teacher immediately told me to calm down, in a nice calm way a few times. I was immediately offended. Once again, expressing emotion was causing someone to tell me to tone it down. I wasn’t even upset until this phrase was said to me.

It took a few days of reflection and analyzation to figure out what exactly bothered me so much. I think that because she didn’t know me and her reaction to my expression was one of correction. She wanted me to be different. Therefore telling me to calm down felt like a rejection of my personality. When I feel rejected, I go into self preservation mode. I either let the full force of my personality out and I don’t care who likes it or I withdrawal completely. Either way, I am not trying to be likable. I don’t know why I respond this way but I do.

Thinking about that moment in class over and over again led me to this realization.

I am an emotional creature. A very emotional creature. Sometimes I show that emotion when expressing myself verbally.

Maybe the other person is uncomfortable with the level of emotion that I am expressing and saying calm down is their way of trying to control the situation to bring it to a level of comfort for them. (Emotional Contagion). I don’t need to take it personally! I can understand what is happening for the other person and adjust where I can.

I hope I am able to maintain this point of view so that the next time someone tells me to calm down, I won’t feel the need to be so reactive.

Go to Crater Lake if you can

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It only took me eight years and A LOT of effort to get there however it was totally worth it. Therefore, I highly recommend it to you.

It is a very popular spot. Camping spots are taken up months in advance. There are two campgrounds they provide information for on their website. They are very good about keeping the website updated with open spots for reservations.

  • Mazama Campground is the closest to the Lake. This site reserves 10% of the spots for walk-ins. Walk-ins are on a first come first serve basis. Whether you have a reservation or are just walking up, Check-in time starts at 12:00 p.m.
  • Lost Creek Campground is the second closest, doesn’t take reservations, and is a tent only site.

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I lucked out and a spot opened up at Mazama’s two days before my trip. I kept checking back every 30 minutes or so to see the status of open sites.

When we arrived around 11:15 a.m. there were people already making a line for the walk-in spots.

I recommend bringing your own firewood. They sell firewood at the store near the entrance to the campground. It cost $10 a bundle. Since there was a burn ban in effect, I felt so lucky each camping site had a fire ring which allowed us to build a fire. My favorite part about camping!!!

Technically Crater Lake is a caldera not a crater. You can drive 33 miles around the entire thing on the Scenic Rim Drive (since you are there- why not?!) It doesn’t take that long to do…

Elevation of Crater Lake ranges from 7000 to 8000 feet. Portland’s elevation is only 50 feet above sea level. Be mentally prepared for this. I underestimated the effects of this on my body. I figured since I grew up in Colorado that it wasn’t going to be a big deal. I forgot that it has been 20 years since I have been to Colorado and it became apparent real fast. There is less oxygen the higher in elevation you go. My heart was beating so hard after a few steps hiking around.

I would only get to spend 1 day and 1 night at Crater Lake so I wanted to make the most of it. I signed up to take their 2 hour boat tour. It cost $44.

There’s only one place to access the water. It’s the same place you will have to go if you decide to take the boat tour.

We arrived to the check-in spot for the boat tour, only to learn it had been cancelled 💩

They only have 3 boats. One of them had just broken down. They are required to keep one of those boats designated as the rescue boat aka: “the just in case” boat. If for any reason something happens to the boat people are on, they need the just in case boat to rescue everyone.

I wanted to touch the water so I convinced my friend to hike down to dip our feet in it. It is not a recreational lake so activities are limited. You can fish. There is a small area to jump in. No flotation devices, no swimming and no private boats.

The hike is moderately difficult because of the (overall) elevation change. The hike itself only changes by 780 feet. If you already live in a place that is is more than 6,000 feet above sea level, you will be fine. For the rest of us, I again want to mention how it took my by surprise. It took hours to get back up the hike. (Still worth it). I just want you to be prepared ❤

If you have the chance to visit this place- you must go!!!!!

Tips for stress free selling on apps like OfferUp and Letgo.

I sell a lot of things on OfferUp, Letgo, and Craigslist.

If you have sold things on these platforms, you will know how flaky people can be.  It can be quite frustrating. I refuse to have strangers waste my time. I will not be held hostage waiting on anyone ever again.

Here are some tips & tricks I have found to be effective in order to feel less stressed.

Pricing: I like to price things to move. I list it for half of what I paid or I do some research to what others are selling it for and make it a few dollars less.  No matter what price you list your item for- expect people to ask to buy it for less.  It is okay to remain firm in your offer.  The right match will come around once you stand your ground.  Especially if it is a fair price.  If you are willing to accept their offer – go ahead 🙂

Communication: Don’t expect it to be great.  When people message me to ask if something is available- I answer yes and then delete their message.  When people message me to say they will get back to me- I delete the message. I assume that people are going to flake so I just delete all messages. I don’t chase and I don’t follow up after I have provided pertinent information. Just let it go and move on.  The serious ones will come back around. After some time, they become obvious.

**People who are good communicators will get back to you. They will answer your questions. They will set up a specific time to connect with you. They will be responsive and sometimes, just sometimes, even be the one to initiate the details. They will let you know when they are on their way (especially if you have requested they do so).  They show up. Be sure to give them positive feedback about the aspects of their behavior you appreciate ❤

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Location to meet: I like to find a business close to where I am located (this can serve as a reference point for them to map how far it will be from their location). I never give my physical address unless (it works best for my life) / I have gotten a good vibe, the communication has been good and they are ready to head my way.  If the communication hasn’t been great, I just give them a business nearby and ask them to let me know when they are there and then I will come over.  This will save your time.  This way you don’t have to wait at your house for anyone.  I understand that things come up which could change the time they are able to come.  If you just ask them to let you know when they are there then you don’t have to be held hostage.  Sometimes they don’t show up…. makes no difference to you since you aren’t waiting around on them and then a bunch of random strangers don’t have your home address.

I hope that you found these tips helpful.  I hope if you use them, that they work out for you. Feel free to share tips that you find useful!!!  I am always looking to improve…

Happy Selling out there!

 

 

I’m sorry, you must have me mistaken…

Growing up in Colorado Springs, there was competition between civilian and military men to date the local ladies. Many girls wanted to date the Air Forces boys and I was no different. There is something very attractive about the uniform.

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When I was 19 years old, I dated an Air Force Academy Cadet. He was my first boyfriend. He was good looking and so was his group of friends. He would turn 21 years old while we were dating. I was not going to let my catch of a boyfriend start to go out to the bars without me. I wanted to remain his girlfriend.

The night of his 21st birthday, his squadron took him out drinking. I knew where they were going and I talked my way in to give him a surprise. I went with a friend and sat at a table far enough away to see him and not have him see me. I waited for about 20 minutes before I found his waitress so I could send over a drink, along with my house key and a note that said – “Thought you were cute so I bought you a drink, would you like to come to my place after?”

It was great to watch his group of friends surveying the room to see who this girl could be. It didn’t take long for someone to spot me 🙂

His birthday night confirmed that I would need to find a way to be able join him in the future.

I worked with a girl named Carrie McClary. Carrie was cool and understood my dilemma. She offered to let me use her birth certificate and social security card to get a fake ID. I planned to get one in a different state since states don’t share databases. I had plans to join my boyfriend for one of his trips back home. He came to the AF Academy from West Dundee, Illinois. West Dundee is a suburb of Chicago.

He made frequent trips home to visit his family. Once things got serious between us, I started to travel with him. I love Chicago. I have super fond memories of going to Arlington Race Horse Track, Medieval times , shopping in Schaumberg, gambling on the Riverboats in Elgin, and spending New Year’s Eve downtown Chi-town. I figured getting an ID would be easier than getting a drivers license. In Illinois you need 3 things to get an ID. A birth certificate, social security card and proof of address. How was I going to prove residency in a state I didn’t live in with a name that wasn’t really mine?

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I was shocked when my boyfriend ‘s conservative, religious parents agreed to help. They let me use their home address. They owned a manufacturing company so they wrote me a letter to my fake name, welcoming me to my new position with their company. Genius!

Let get fake ID adventure begin. We started out at the DMV in Elgin. I can’t remember why they turned me down but they did so we ended up going to the DMV in Woodstock. It worked. I got my fake ID in Woodstock, Illinois.

At the time I was working for General Meters Corp. General Meters Corporation is a developer and provider of one-card systems for college and university campuses. All I had to do was walk downstairs and scan the universities they had contracts with, find one from Chicago, and convince my buddy that worked in that department to help me create a student ID with my fake name. This would prove to save my ass a few months later.

Having a fake ID meant freedom. The most important freedom for me at the time was the ability to keep up with my boyfriend and his friends.

Frequently our group would go play Blackjack in Cripple Creek, Colorado. One time when we were there, I was sitting at a table playing blackjack when an undercover policeman came over to question me. He wanted to see some ID. I gave him the fake one. He asked me why I didn’t have my drivers license. I am a terrible liar and the only thing I could think of to say was that I had gotten into some trouble drinking and driving therefore I was unable to have a license. I also had a backup college ID to show him. He was satisfied and left me to gamble.

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Once I came really close to having my fake ID taken from me. One weekend night we went to Crocodile Rocks. Crocodile Rocks was a night club in the corner of a strip mall that was “the place to go” for dancing and such. No sooner had I entered the establishment and was making my way across the dance floor towards the bar when I was tapped on the shoulder by a bouncer asking for my ID. I pulled it out and gave it to him. He said ” Looks good to me” but my supervisor wants to see it. He started to make his way to the front of the club so I followed right behind him. Thank goodness my boyfriend noticed and started to follow us too. As soon as we met up with the supervisor I knew I was in trouble. We knew each other from high school.

He looked me straight in the eye and said, ” I know you, your name is Julie ****** and you are too young to be here”. I felt panicky on the inside and was scrambling for a way to not get caught. I looked him straight in the eye back and said, “I’m sorry , you must have me mistaken for someone else”. My boyfriend also started to explain that I was his girlfriend from back home who was in town for a visit. He pulled out his wallet to show his Illinois drivers license along with his military ID. I pitched such a fit, demanding my ID back and the cover charge we paid since we were leaving. It worked. Got my ID and the cover and we were off to another bar. We vowed never to return there until I was really 21 years old, which would just be another year. Plenty of other places to go.

I can’t believe how close I came to getting caught but never did. I’m not a big drinker, never have been. Even with a fake ID I wasn’t. Now that I am old enough to drink and gamble, I look back at that time in my life with amazement. Amazement and Gratitude.

Last year was the first year I stopped getting carded when going to bars. Time flies when you’re having fun! And now that I’m in my forties I guess it’s come full circle. It feels better to live life without having to lie about your age. I haven’t had to for decades now ❤

Covert Operation = Get Nieces back

3 thousand dollars & Karma allowed for the covert operation.

Maybe you have read the other blogs about my journey, maybe you have not. This story picks up at the end of the blog that is linked above.

For those that have not, let me give you the readers digest version: I don’t have a good relationship with my biological mother. My younger sister passed away in 2003 which prompted me to connect with the abusive dysfunctional people from my past in order to attend her funeral and to meet my little nieces, whom were 3 years old and 18 months old at the time. I wanted to help raise my nieces so they moved to Austin TX where I was living in 2004. It didn’t go well and my biological mother lied and said she was going on vacation when she was secretly moving to Oregon about 1.5 years later. She then proceeded to cut me out of my nieces lives. She changed the phone number leaving me no way to contact the little girls that had become such a big part of my heart <3.

When I found out they moved, I made plans to visit. Those plans were met with resistance. I was told I had to do certain things, I wasn’t willing to do. My biological mother doesn’t get to treat me however she wants and then dictate my response to it. This is when she told me not to come. Shortly after that she changed the phone number.

I realized that if I was ever going to see them again, I would need my visit to be a surprise. I didn’t take the trip I originally planned since she had all the details and could have easily left town. This would result in me wasting $3,000.00

Covert Operation = get nieces back began to form. I bribed my boyfriend at the time to come with me with some fun plans in Portland before traveling to Salem to sit in front of their house. I decided going around Christmas time would increase the chances of me being able to find them at home.

In 2006, I got plane tickets for Portland, a rental car to drive to Salem, hotel rooms and massage appointments. I went to the local toy store and purchased Christmas presents for the girls. We stayed two days in Portland before headed off for the drama.

Portland was awesome! The size of the city reminded me of the Austin Texas I moved to the summer of 1996. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe- off to Austin TX I go. The nature scene reminded me of growing up in Colorado Springs. Portland has delicious food, cool bridges and nice people. It was becoming clear that I liked it so much that I wanted to live there. I never thought I would see the day I wanted to move from Austin because I loved living there. It’s the place I have lived the longest yet (15 years) Portland was pretty awesome though and I seriously started to think about moving. I would need to finish college first.

After two days in Portland, we drove to Salem, checked into the hotel and went to sit in front of my nieces house. It was completely nerve wracking. The anxiety built with every passing moment. At some point my boyfriend mentioned he was hungry. I didn’t want to leave because Murphy’s Law says the moment I leave is the moment they come home and I didn’t want to miss them. He ended up convincing me to get some fast food for him. We weren’t gone long. When we returned, the lights in the house were on. I knew it! I missed my moment! I was pissed at my BF and pissed at myself for agreeing to leave. Now we have to go to the door. This gives my biological mother more of an advantage.

We crept up to the door and couldn’t really see through the oval circle made of frosted glass that was in the middle of the wood door. I could hear them though. I tried to wait until I heard the girls voices closer towards the front of the house however it was proving impossible. I knocked on the door and she told the girls to go to their rooms because she thought I was going to be someone else that was showing up with something for the girls for Christmas. When she answered the door, it took her a minute to register what was happening. I saw her face change when it clicked. I shoved my foot in the door so she couldn’t close it on me and I started yelling my nieces names. I didn’t overcome the year of sadness and come all this way not to be successful. She let me in…

At first it was very awkward. It took an hour or so for the girls to remember who I was. There weren’t any pictures of me around. I’m 100% sure she didn’t talk about me or say nice things about me or remind them of the good times we had and how much I loved them. She asked if I was there to take them away? My answer was – I’m not you.

I had a hotel down the street and I wanted the girls to come and stay with me. I’m surprised she agreed. I got to spend all the days I was there with them. We went out to eat and had a couple sleepover nights. I couldn’t have been more happy. I got them back!!!!!

After a week, it was time to return home to Austin. I invited each of my nieces to come for 1 week during the summer. The littlest one was too scared to fly so the older one asked if she could have her sister’s week and come for 2 weeks. OF COURSE. It almost didn’t happen because she was very scared to get on the plane. Thankfully a nice couple saw this little girl crying and offered to accompany her during the flight. Words could not express the disappointment I felt at the thought of her not being able to board the plane. I am so proud of her for conquering her fear and making it all the way to Texas. We had a blast. Lots of swimming. Reuniting with old friends. She lost a tooth. She celebrated her 8th birthday while there- We went at Schlitterbahn with friends. Our relationship was back on track. I love her more than I love anyone in the world.

I spent the next 2 years flying to Portland for visits. As my nieces got older, I knew that they needed me to be closer. I wanted to be a bigger part in their lives. I was putting myself through college part-time which would take 10 years to complete. I graduated the summer of 2010 and by the end of December, I moved to Dallas OR, where they lived.

3 thousand dollars & Karma

I can’t remember the name of the dating app or site I was on when I made a connection with a gentlemen.

20190727_115935.jpgWe decided to met at bar called Casino El Camino for drinks and food. This bar is located on the east end of the infamous 6th street in Austin TX. We got cocktails and ordered food while sitting on the back patio. I remember that neither of us wanted to smoke many cigarettes in front of the other person because we were trying to impress each other (smoking is unattractive). Eventually we just had to be ourselves.

I liked him right away. I just wasn’t interested in dating him. I don’t meet many people I want to date so the chances were slim from the beginning anyway.  I will still make effort to engage with the opposite sex since it feels like a numbers game. Eventually I will meet someone to share my life with.

For as long as I can remember, I have been struggling to earn enough money to get ahead of my poor economic situation. Dare I dream to be able to put money into savings.  I always manage to earn enough to survive! I have been working since I was 14 years old- 114 jobs and counting.

The stress of my economic situation revels itself when major changes happen in my life and I’m not able to take care of them how I like.

In 2005, my biological mother took my nieces, secretly moved to another state, changed their phone number and removed me from their lives. I was heartbroken. I cried every day for about a year. I got my first tattoo on the day that marked 1 year since I had seen their faces. Grand stand ideas started to ruminate in my mind as to how to get those little girls back into my life . If only there was a way to do it without having to deal with my biological mother.  The girls were 5 and 3 years old at the time.

I thought of showing up at their house to surprise them. I have their home address.. This surprise plan would require plane tickets, renting a car, gas money, a place to stay, bribing my boyfriend to support me in this drama, and feeding ourselves along the way. I did some preliminary research on how much it would cost to take the time away from work, pay for all those required things as well as doing something fun since I was going to a new city.  It was looking like it was going to cost around $3,000. Shit. How was I going to do that? I only made enough money to cover monthly expenses working  while putting myself through college.

My new friend is a really good poker player.  Plays online all the time. He had a day job working ( I don’t remember where). He had been there for awhile and wasn’t happy anymore.  He liked it the first few years, felt appreciated, received work bonuses but those days seemed to be long gone.

One day when I was at work, we were talking on the phone and I was telling him my grand plan.  I blurted out that I needed $3,000 to accomplish it and I had no idea how to do it.  My heart hurt so intensely it was clouding other aspects of my life.

He mentioned he was playing in an online poker tournament that night and 1st prize was $3,000 and if he won, he would give it to me. Now I know what you are thinking. I know what I was thinking. He can’t be serious. I mean this is too generous of a gift. What would prompt him to do such a thing?  I knew he had feelings for me, (little ones anyways) because we hadn’t known each other that long.  I didn’t want to say no.

After work, I went home to do homework, study and make dinner. He kept calling me to give me a play by play. It was more than I could keep up with.  I told him good luck, I couldn’t talk on the phone all night because of homework and we would see what happened in the morning…

I woke up to a text message with an attached screenshot of the computer screen. HE WON!!!!!

This just became real. We needed to have a serious talk about it.  There would be no way I could accept this gift if he was going to hold it over my head. I couldn’t accept the extremely generous gift if it would come with invisible strings. Our friendship would not survive it. I know plenty of people who use their money for power, control, and to manipulate others. I know myself

He said he wouldn’t and I desperately wanted to believe him. It would take some time for him to get his payout.

20190727_115923_HDR.jpgWe dressed up and went to a Halloween party that year.  Halloween is my favorite holiday. We were sitting around the fire and at some point in the night, he made a hurtful/ manipulative/ power comment about giving me the money. It was the moment I was afraid of. I immediately knew I could not accept his generous gift. I told him so and he instantly felt bad and realized his error. He promised he wouldn’t do that and here he was making a comment before I even took the money.

How was I going to deal with this epic disappointment?! I was super depressed. I was discouraged. I was disheartened by the predictability of people and money. I was sad that I wasn’t going to be able to fly up to Oregon and try to get my nieces back. It took several weeks, several apologies and a couple conversations about his recommitment to being comment free before I would accept his gift.

Eventually I agreed and when he received the money, we made plans to meet.  He would be at La Zona Rosa with a date when I would roll by in my car.  He handed me a small package filled with my dreams. To this day he has never made another comment about it. Thank you with ALL of my being for this mister.

“Covert Operation = get nieces back ” was ready to be put in place.

I couldn’t be more grateful. I am truly inspired by his generosity. I’m not sure I could have done the same.  I mean, I am a generous person. I’m always giving things away or feeding people.  I would take the time to help others when and where I can.  Three thousand dollars is a lot of money though.

20181116_233618.jpgThey say you get what you give. This couldn’t be more true in this story.

A few weeks after he gave me all that money, his boss called him into his office to let him know that a couple customers had called in raving about him.  He had received a few positive reviews.  He was a loyal, hard working, nice employee.

He got a bonus that year.

Guess how much…..

You know it.

$3,000.00

Love you friend. You deserve all good things! Happy we still talk and that I got to see you last year after not seeing you for eight years ❤

Update- as of the posting of this blog, he hasn’t returned my phone calls nor called me. This makes my heart very sad and I don’t understand.

I ❤ you Herinal

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Did you know they make a urinal for women?!

I didn’t until I went to Oregon Country Fair.

Chances are there won’t be a line to use it.

Chances are most people don’t know it is there or how to use it.

It’s Easy!!!!!!!

Step 1: Find the sign

I haven’t had to wait in line yet to go to the bathroom at an event that has 25,000 + attendees…..

Normally there are 4 to 6 troffs. You can face either way, although most people squat facing the drain. There is plenty of toilet paper and even a place to put the TP.

It doesn’t smell any worse than a port-a-potty / Maybe even slightly better since no one is pooping there.

I have only seen it at OCF and I wish there were more of them around.

Don’t be scared. Don’t be nervous. Don’t be shy. Give the lady urinal a try.

Your bladder will thank you ❤💚💜💙💛.

#first tattoo

Growing up I thought about getting a tattoo all the time however I don’t have a high tolerance for pain so I never did it . Then one day I found myself with a pain so deep in my heart that the pain of the tattoo needle wouldn’t come close to matching it. Suddenly I was ready to sit in the chair.

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In May of 2006, I would sit for 3.5 hours straight to get my first tattoo. The artist was heavy handed and I cried for several hours while getting it. Not a heavy ugly cry. The kind of cry where the tears well up in your eyes and roll down your face. Technically he wasn’t the artist I originally wanted/talked to. He was just another artist, in the same shop, that was available on the day I desired. There wasn’t enough time to correct the communication mistake with my top choice artist. The day was super important to me because it marked one year since I had seen/spoken to my nieces. I was heartbroken.

The names of my nieces, along with specific symbols, make up the design of the tattoo. The colors and style were inspired by Henna. Henna has been around for centuries and comes with a positive connotation. One of the reasons I like it is because it doesn’t contain any black. That seems to be rare for a tattoo.

It all started when I got the news my younger sister was going to die. I put school & two jobs on pause and got on a plane to face my dysfunctional past. I had not seen or spoken to my biological mother for close to six years. It was a family friend that called me on that random Tuesday morning at 7:30 a.m. to inform me about my sister. My sister was only 21 years old. She would be leaving behind two little girls, ages 3 and 18 months, whom I hadn’t met yet.

I almost met the eldest one (once) when my sister took a road trip with her boyfriend at the time from Las Vegas to come and see me in Austin TX. They would get two speeding tickets along the way. This would cause them to turn around and head back, not ever making it to Texas.

Attending the funeral would force me to see people that were abusive to me in the past. The “past” being the most important word here. I worked hard to rise above where I came from. When contemplating how I was going to get through these challenging times, I realized that I was an adult. I realized that I hadn’t seen or spoken to any of them in years. I was busy putting myself through college, working, and all around taking care of myself. There wasn’t anything they could do to me now. Their opinions certainly didn’t matter to me. These facts gave me the courage to go. I went to Las Vegas because I wanted to meet my nieces and say goodbye to my sister. I knew I would regret it if I didn’t.

There would be a few things I would need in order to go. I got back in touch with my therapist – she agreed to be on speed dial for me. I am eternally grateful to her for this. I also needed a back-up plan on a place to stay. The first roommate I ever had in life married her Air Force boyfriend and was currently stationed in Las Vegas. She graciously agreed to be my backup plan if things took a downturn while I was there. I am eternally grateful to her for this.

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My sister died within 24 hours of my being there. I was the only one in the family that stepped up to say I wanted to help raise the girls. I wasn’t going to move to Las Vegas to do it though. I had been living in Austin for about 7 years , I was years deep into college and working hard to do it. I didn’t want to live in a state where prostitution was legal. Sin City is fun to visit but not to live.

I could help if they moved to Austin. At the time, my close friend was the manager of the apartment complex I was living at. She would make sure that they would have a place to stay. They moved a few months later.

It didn’t take long for the estranged relationship with my biological mother to turn tense. I even tried family therapy however she was unwilling to talk about the past. She has never offered an apology and my therapist didn’t think she ever would. Without one , there can be no forward progress for me. Correction – I can move on without her. It’s better this way.

They managed to live in Austin for about a little over a year before she would lie to me and tell me they were going on vacation when secretly she was planning to move to Oregon. She didn’t give many details and I didn’t ask for them since I didn’t want to engage with her.

Time passed and it was getting to be towards the end of the week of their vacation. I hadn’t heard from her and she didn’t return my phone call. I started to wonder about the details of their return. Did they need a ride from the airport? Were they getting in late? When would I be able to spend time with my nieces next?

I was having dinner with my boyfriend at a restaurant close to their apartment, so we decided to drive by their place after dinner. To my shock, horror and dismay, after peeking through the blinds, I found an empty apartment. I immediately cried in an inconsolable way and threw up my dinner.

I called her one more time to inform her that if I didn’t hear from her by the end of the next day that I would go to the police department and file missing persons reports on all 3 of them. As far as I was concerned, my family went on vacation and I haven’t heard from anybody since. I was getting very worried. She returned my phone call only to confirm what I already knew. They were gone………

Having children taking from your life is one of the most painful things a heart can handle. I fell in love with those girls from the moment I met them. They taught me the meaning of unconditional love. I helped pick out daycare, attended school plays, went to teacher conferences. I gave up every weekend I could just so I could spend time with them. To have them come over for sleepovers, to play with them, to read to them, to cook for them, to love them. To teach them how to navigate life. To expose them to culture events that extended beyond our own so they may be respectful to all. My heart goes out to anyone who knows this pain ❤

Eventually she changed the phone number, leaving me no way to get in touch with them.

Only through the generous gesture of a new friend would I be able to make plans to travel to Oregon to get them back into my life (for a few years anyways).

Covert operation = get nieces back !!

Until then, I will carry them with me – in my heart and on my right arm. I’m over the fear of the needle now. I have gotten many tattoos since. I like the idea of two 3/4 sleeves. One can’t really predict these things- Just like how heavy handed an artist will be.

Love you mis sobrinas bonitas.

Dealing Blackjack in Las Vegas

When I was 22 years old, I was keeping books for Coppertank Brewing Company in Austin TX. Although working at this place would come with some challenges, I would end up returning to it to deal cards after Vegas. It all started when my car broke down and instead of going to work, I took the day off to figure out how to get it towed from the gas station it was stuck at. I also needed to figure out how I was going to fix it. I am the only person I have in my life to make sure things get done. At that time, I was working at Celis Brewery. My supervisor offered to give me ride the next morning except when she arrived, she had a letter in her hand. They were firing me for taking the time to address my car. Thank goodness a girl I knew (you will hear about later in the story) told me about the position at Coppertank. I interviewed later that day and got the job. The bar business is a male dominated one. I felt pressure to keep up with Texas style grooming; fake boobs, fake tan, fake nails, even fake eyelashes because that’s whats Texas girls do. At times the misogyny was glaring. For example- one of the more popular t-shirts sold there said “Drink until she’s cute” The staff were all having sex with each other , even managers with waitresses. I was not in the mix of any of it.

One evening, they did something that was so upsetting, I quit on the spot. I just stormed right out. I woke up the next day in deep regret. I didn’t have a working car and now I didn’t have a job. I was full of apologies when I tried to get my job back but they weren’t having it. Too bad so sad for me.

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Before I could seriously look for another job, I had a vacation coming up. A long weekend trip to Las Vegas. I love to gamble and have been doing it since I’ve had a fake ID at nineteen in Cripple Creek, Colorado. It suddenly occurred to me I could stay long enough to learn how to deal blackjack, buy a car and return to Austin. I heard rumors about how much money you can make in tips so I figured it wouldn’t take too long to gather the funds. They are pretty much handing out loans to dealers and cocktail waitress because they know they would make enough money to cover it.

I needed to seriously figure out how to do this. The only people I knew in Vegas were my biological mother and younger sister. They moved to Las Vegas when I moved to Austin, the summer of 1996. It had only been about a year that I had started speaking to them again. Things were on shaky ground. Growing up, I experienced so much dysfunction I couldn’t get away fast enough. I left home at 17 and went four years without speaking to them. I decided to try again after the worst day of my life. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe- off to Austin TX I go. This Vegas trip would be the final straw to remind me of why I left and I would go another 3 years before speaking with my sister and another 6 years before having to see/speak with my biological mother for my sister’s funeral. I havent spoken to her since January 2011 and I don’t have the desire to ever again. Life became better without her.

I was living in a 2 bdr apartment and everything was in my name. I have had many roommates, none of them stable or good choices. My current male roommate was addicted to drugs and super dirty ( I knew neither of these things before he moved in because he lied) When I went to see his apartment, he had paid someone to clean it. I didn’t know this until after he moved in and we fought about his habits. A couple of times I snuck into his room early morning (because he was always passed out and getting up late) to steal his car keys and use his car to run errands. Guess I’m not the perfect roommate either. Although the only thing I really cared about in a roomie was they paid bills on time and the shared spaces to be kept OCD clean ( I still do) .

I talked to my roommate about my plans for Vegas. I told him I would send money for half the rent/bills each month, just please don’t screw me in any way shape or form. I would only need a few months before I would return. Maybe it would be better to not leave him alone? I really can’t trust this guy. I am taking a big chance leaving for an undetermined amount of time and I’m taking a big chance with where I would be staying in Vegas.

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Last minute, I thought of someone who could take my place in the apartment. The only drawback is that we had broken up not too long ago. We weren’t dating anymore because he was an alcoholic with commitment issues. He was living with a couple who were wanting more privacy because they were planning to get married. They were hinting their desire for him to move out. The timing was perfect. He could pay half the rent and bills. This would allow me to save more money and get home faster. I could also have someone to keep an eye on my dirty cocaine addicted roommate.

We went out for a drink and I laid down some ground rules. I would de personalize my room to make it more comfortable for him. #1 Rule NO sex with other girls in MY bed. Take it to the living room couch (also mine). Better yet, go to her house! He would keep an eye on my current roommate and update me with any information I needed to be aware of. He would make sure the bills were on time. His #1 concern was getting stuck with my things. I assured him if the day came that something happened. I would come home immediately to take care of my business.

I flew to Las Vegas and signed up for dealing school. It was fun, I learned how to deal pitch. I learned how to check the chips. I memorized blackjack payouts from $1-$100. What takes most people 30 days to finish, I did in 7.

 

When you are new, there are only certain casinos that will hire you. They are called Break-In houses. They know you are new and going to make mistakes. I went for my live audition at the Gold Coast. I got the job! They hired me on the spot. I was assigned the night shift. The hours were 7:00 p.m. to 3:30 a.m.. The Gold Coast works on a 24 hour tip share pool. This means the person working at 6:00a.m. (when no one is playing ) is making the same amount of money as the person busting their ass Friday night at 11:00 p.m.

 

You’re not allowed to have people you know sit at your table to gamble so I didn’t let on when my buddy Joe and his friend drove up from California to play some blackjack. They followed me around to each table I would be stationed at ( since a shift includes working for 40 minutes and breaking for 20) then you get put at a different table. I would end up taking all their money.

 

20190727_115855.jpgThey say it’s all about who you know, which couldn’t be more true in Las Vegas. I made friends with one of the female pit bosses. She nicknamed me Downtown Julie Brown. Do you remember that MTV host? Anyways, this would prove to be beneficial. It would ensure I never got picked for a “random” drug test. I beat a hair test to get the job.

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You know the day the guy I used to date was worried about. Yeah, that day came. He called me one morning, after three months, to let me know the other roommate was moving out. I would need to come back to Austin to take care of my business. I woke up the next day, bought a slightly used car ( light purple Saturn SC1), gave my two weeks notice and started to prepare to return home to Austin. I flew out a girl, whom I thought was my friend, to travel home with me. She turned out to be a frenemy. We then drove 24 hours straight home in time to celebrate New Year’s Eve with friends. This would be the year I would take 13 shots in addition to some cocktails resulting in giving myself alcohol poising. I may have turned 23 while living in Las Vegas however I wasn’t another year wiser.

Upon moving back into my apartment, I would end up having to live with that ex boyfriend for a few months. After a month a so we managed to find ourselves having sex on the couch. This naked time between us would result in another separation. I would end up asking him to move out. Sex on the couch = I known what it means. Coming into my bedroom for sex and then leaving to sleep for the night in your own bed = crossing the line = no commitment = you gotta go…

It wouldn’t take too long before I would see an ad in the paper for dealers wanted. Since gambling is illegal in Texas, it caught my attention. Turns out, there were several companies in town throwing parties with a casino theme. These types of parties are popular during the holiday season. Companies throw their employees parties, feed them, and give them drink tickets. We are the entertainment. Hopefully they offer incentive to play otherwise we stand around doing nothing but watching them eat, dance, and sometimes sing karaoke. They have become my entertainment.

I currently have a job with a casino company in Portland Oregon. I have been dealing blackjack since 1997. I held my gaming license for 10 years and now I teach people how to play. I have a feeling it will be a job that I do until I am old and can’t work anymore.

What starts in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas LOL.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe- off to Austin TX I go.

1995 was a rough year for me. I was 21 years old. I crashed my car, lost my job and found out I was pregnant all in the same day. Time for some big changes.

I grew up between California and Colorado. I was born in San Francisco and lived in the Bay Area, mainly Vallejo, until I was 8 yo. After some serious physical abuse inflicted upon me by my step father, I was shipped off to live in Colorado Springs. I would live with my biological mother’s mother. She was also abusive and I would stop speaking to her at 18 years old.

I would graduate High School in Co Spgs. I wanted to go to college far far away but couldn’t afford to even go to the local community college so just like ever other kid who doesn’t continue their education, I got a job.

114 jobs and counting

Years of working led to years of yearning for something different. Something bigger.

After the worst day of my life insofar as of yet. I decided I was going to move. But to where?

I had spent time on the West Coast already. I had seen parts of the East coast. I wanted to move to a bigger city but not too too big. The Northern part of the states was cold like Colorado. I hadn’t spent too much time in the South. The idea of never having to scrape snow and ice off my car before heading out was awfully appealing.

20190727_120604.jpgI busted out a map and said Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. How bout I go to Austin TX… I’ve heard good things about it from a girl I know named Rebecca. To think that was enough information for me is semi frightening. You wouldn’t catch me doing that now. I would need way more information.

 

 

Austin was bigger than Colorado Springs but not as big as Chicago. My Air Force boyfriend was from West Dundee IL so I have spent a lot of time in the Chicago area. Got my fake ID in Woodstock IL since they turned me down in Elgin. His sister was a nurse and lived downtown Chicago. She came home almost every weekend though to be with her family. She was lonely. I have a lot of gratitude towards my fellow humans for allowing me to get an education, to learn some life lessons ,by observing the details of their lives. Watching her fill her loneliness with her beloved family taught me that when you live in a big city, it’s easy to get lost in the crowd. It showed me that just because you have a lot of money doesn’t take away the fact you could easily feel like just a number. I didn’t want to feel that lonely. Not only did I not have any money, I didn’t have any family to lean on. Seriously- if this pretty, smart, successful girl was coming home on the weekends, what was in store for me? I was already going to be alone when I moved. Unless I could find a friend to join me….

The girl I found turned out to be Courtney. We knew each other from high school. She was a fellow friend ready to have a bigger adventure and get out of the military town we grew up in. Colorado Springs is surrounded by Peterson AFB, Fort Carson Army Base and the Air Force Academy. Courtney and I soon spent our days making plans. We would need to rent a truck, map the route we would drive and research which parts of the city were best to live in. It was all very exciting!

Three weeks before we were supposed to leave, Courtney found out she got into college. It’s what she really wanted to do therefore she backed out of the move. I was committed. I would go alone if I had to. Going with a friend sounded much better though. I wasn’t going to know anyone in a city/state I had never been to. It would make life so much easier and nicer to have a pal to explore with.

I decided to hit my friend T up. I have known her since 8th grade. I lived in her house during my senior year in high school. When she graduated high school she moved to Breckenridge to live with her boyfriend. I would move into a downtown apartment with my friend Amy. True Independence at last. I would visit T in Summit County several times. During one of those visits I would mention that Courtney had backed out of the move, that all the plans were in place and I just needed to find someone to join or I would go alone.

T was born and raised Colorado. All her family lived in Colorado. She is close with her family. She said she would join if I could help convince her parents to get on board. I agreed. I had the talk with her parents, it worked and suddenly I was back on track with a friend to move with.

 

 

I was going to drive a 15 foot truck with all our belongings. Behind that truck I would tow my car that broke down the night before. It broke down in the Rocky Mountains on the way home from gambling in Cripple Creek. One last hoorah. There would be no time to fix it before I moved.

It took 2 days to make it from Colorado Springs to Austin TX. I had set up an appointment with an apartment Realtor to show us around. I decided I wanted to live close to downtown. Downtown is where you go when you don’t know where to go. He showed us good options.

20190711_214204-1.jpgWe picked a two bedroom at Riverside Place apartments and moved in later that day. I picked up the Sunday paper, found an office manager position to apply for with Celis Brewery. Even though I don’t like beer, I knew it would be a fun atmosphere. I was just 21 years old after all.

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So we arrived on a Friday night, found an apartment on Saturday- moved in, picked up the Sunday paper and had interviews for jobs we would both get by Monday. This is how you know you are where you are supposed to be when life works out so effortlessly ❤

 

 

Before I moved, a girl I worked with gave me someone to connect with in Austin. His name was Scott Crossett and he threw an annual 4th of July party on his boat. We would get to go if I called. Little did I know how much of a gift this guy would be in my life. He was the owner of Apple Leasing and he would be the reason I had transportation for over a year which allowed me to obtain work. That deal worked out for some time however I would end up selling my 55 gallon fresh water fishtank to put an engine in the broken car I towed with me.

Turns out I lived in Austin for 15 years. It is the longest I have lived anywhere. Austin holds so many memories for me:

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I would put myself through college (it would take ten years). I would move to Las Vegas, deal blackjack for 3 months, return home in time for New Year’s Eve (to give myself alcohol poising) in a light purple Saturn SC1 with a spoiler (joined by a friend turned enemy) that an Office Supplies truck would crash in to (totaling it) and (leaving me to go to the hospital on a backboard by ambulance).

 

 

Photo 2It’s the city where I would learn my younger sister was going to die, leaving me to rise up and face my dysfunctional past, in order to attend her funeral. Shortly after her death my biological mother and nieces would move to Austin. A few years later I would be lied to. I would be told they were going on vacation. In reality they were secretly moving to Oregon. My nieces would be 5 and 3 at the time.

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Austin is the place where I will sell weed (to pay for the last year of college) since I borrowed the maximum amount allowed for an Undergraduate degree.  I would go to jail for possession of marijuana and get robbed twice before I decided to change the trajectory of my life. It’s the place I will fall in love with two men and be cheated on and lied to therefore I will walk away from both. I could list so much more but I will keep some for myself.

 

In December of 2010 I will walk away from it all. I will move to Oregon after graduating college to be closer to my nieces. I want to be a part of raising them. I don’t have kids of my own. I love kids. I have finished school and it’s time to leave Texas.

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Portland Oregon was calling my name….

“It’s a great day for chili”

I bought a pair of Keen water shoes in 2010 to go to Lollapalooza with my friend Alex.  They were the nicest pair of water shoes I have owned yet.  I have enjoyed using them often since I am living in Oregon now. They have been my go to shoe for all the kayaking trips I get to go on working as the Full Charge Bookkeeper for Next Adventure   This job has a lot of adventure perks. I plan to go on them all. So far I have being skiing on Mount Hood, taken every guided hike and I have taken every guided kayaking trip they have to offer.

I have been out to Ross Island, several times- it is on the Willamette River. I have been out to Rooster Rock which is on the Columbia River Gorge.  I have been to Sauvie Island which is in the state of Washington but feels like really far north Portland.  I have come to expect some kind of challenge to happen during the trips because so far every trip has had something happen to make it a somewhat difficult experience.

Off all the challenges I have dealt with, the trip to Sauvie Island sticks with me the most.

Our group started off having a good time, we were moving along, taking in the nature when we encountered water only 2 inches deep.  This would take hours and hours to get out of.  The mud underneath was so soft we were unable to get out and stand in it to pull the boats.  I tried and the mud went up over my knees to mid thigh.  We turned our paddles into oars and inched our way along.  It was miserable but there was no other way around it. Not everyone was going at the same speed. It is important to stay together as a group.  After a considerable amount of time pulling ourselves along it was time for a break.  I hitched up with the high school girl.  She had just had surgery on her foot. Under no circumstances should her foot get wet.  She came on this trip because it had already been paid for. Not only was it her Aunt’s birthday, it was also her Mom’s weekend to be with her.  She sang Journey songs with me and taught me the new slang way the kids say “bitch”  = “batch of cookies”  I think it’s cute! I’m going to start using it. We also played silly games and asked each other fun get to know you questions.  Thank Jah this group was awesome to be stuck with!

P1020944After an hour of chillin’ in the mud, waiting for the other people to catch up, everyone voted to move inward and go from there.  It would take another 30 min of inching along just to reach the shore.  I am going to need to get out of my boat to help the high school girl get her boat the closest to shore as possible so she could get out while keeping her foot dry.  I’m going to have to pull her boat which will require me getting into the mud. The mud was soft like gray clay. The minute I stepped into it, it came to above my knees . I lifted my leg up to take a step and bloop..my shoe came off 2 feet under the mud.

Oh Fuck!  I turned right back around and plunged my arm in that crap to find my $100 pair of shoe.  Seriously, it was not to be found anywhere.  I plunged and plunged my arm around, it was hopeless.  I pulled that girl to shore and the sweetest gal that was on our trip came back out in the mud to help me look.  We crawled around on all fours…. both of us grossed out – words can’t express the feelings we had.  After a solid 10 minutes of trying, we didn’t recover the shoe.  I would have to spend the next 5 hours with one shoe only.

 

The mud proved too much for the group to get through so our guide decided the next course of action. We would pull our boats across a cow pasture which had stickers galore on the ground before making our way closer to the river to drop back in and paddle back to where the van was.  We were tired and the tour guide ended up having to pull some people for awhile.  We were also out of drinking water.  Thankfully a boat had noticed how long we were stuck and tossed us some bottled water.

Finally we make it to shore.  Loaded up the van and headed back to town. We didn’t make it back to the shop until 7:30p.m. (2.5 hours later than planned).

I stayed to help the tour guide wash the mud off the boats before putting them back.  Then I gave her a ride home since she needed one.  Dang. What a trip.

Three days later I received an email from the Willamette RiverKeeper asking for volunteers.  The Willamette RiverKeeper is the only non profit organization here in Portland dedicated to clean up of the Willamette River. The river is large and dirty.  It divides Portland into east / west sides. It’s the reason we have twelve cool bridges. I’m glad someone cares enough to keep it clean. Especially now that they try to market it as safe to swim in during the summer. They were offering a Keen shoe gift card worth $150 in exchange for a four hour shift.  Whoa- just what I needed and just in time.  It’s like the universe stepped in right away to support me ❤ Therefore- Sign me up and put me wherever you need me.

New Seasons 1They signed me up to be stationed at a New Seasons Market in Beaverton. I was tasked with selling chili outside the store.  It cost $5 and the money would go towards keeping the river clean ( and I get my shoes back )  I stood outside for 4 hours.  For 3 of those 4 hours I shouted at people walking by  “It’s a great day for chili” .  It was indeed a great day for it.  It was cloudy with the feel of rain in the air. I am a vegetarian and so was the chili.  I had it for lunch, it was delicious.

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I got my shoes back as well as a pair of much needed rain boots.  It rains in Portland 8 to 9 months out of the year.  Maybe not all day everyday but often enough to use rain boots.

 

I can’t believe it worked out.  What a crazy way to loose my shoe and then get them back plus some.  I wouldn’t trade this story for anything. I have learned that painful moments end up making the best memories when you get to look back upon them.

Thanks Earth School.

 

Providence Bridge Pedal- Cheaters Never Prosper

Portland Oregon goes by many a nickname.  One of them is Bridge City.  Portland has 12 bridges that span the Willamette River.  Each with their own unique design and purpose.

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I have lived by the Broadway Bridge since I moved here in 2011. Once over this bridge, you will continue to be on Broadway street which runs through the heart of downtown to the south part of the city.

 

The first year I arrived my co-worker’s husband told me about a fun annual event in town. Once a year they close the bridges and only allow bikes to utilize them.  Normally cars dominate (there are tiny bike lanes ) . Once closed, the entire space is available to bike riders. There is an option to walk however that only includes one bridge – the Marquam Bridge. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still cool.  The Marquam Bridge gives you the best view of the city.  Calling it a bridge is a bit deceiving. Its more like a highway ramp/ overpass. That’s how you get the good view 🙂

The event is called Providence Bridge Pedal and I am definitely going to check it out.  Portland is such a cool city!

Research showed I was late to the game.  I didn’t have time to register and pay.  I didn’t have time to get any gear.  I barely had time to think of what I would need.  I haven’t done anything like this is so long. It has to be at least 15 maybe 20 years since I have been on a bicycle.  Ooops

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I called some bike stores around town and found a place downtown on the west side that had a single speed bike left (with a basket).  I will take it 🙂

 

I found the route online, determined I could sneak in behind a business that was just a few blocks away from where my full time job was. Only because I knew a bit about the area that I figured it would be a less risky spot to slip in. This way if I needed to exit quickly, I would be somewhat familiar with my surroundings. It doesn’t feel good to cheat. Being poor sucks. Being unprepared sucks. I vow to pay next year ( and do ).

I didn’t blend in at all. I didn’t have proper biking riding attire. I had some random snacks and a water in the basket of the bike. I was the only person as far as the eye could see that was not wearing a helmet. There were hundreds, maybe thousands of people who participate in the event.  It bears repeating. I was the ONLY person without a bike helmet. As I moved along with the crowd, no one spoke to me.

As I rode along, having a great time, there was a moment it occurred to me were getting further and further from the city.  The road I was on started to have a lot of space between the random businesses. Mind you, I have only been living here for a few months and I have no idea where things are.  All I know is that I was riding my bike down the side of a long road so far that I started to have dreams of calling a taxi. After a few minutes , serious cyclists started to pass me.  They had proper gear and signs on their backs with the number 10. I had plenty of time to think about what that could mean.  Suddenly I remembered some information I had glimpsed at since I didn’t technically pay to register.  There are options for the event.  You can walk, or ride over 3 bridges, 5 bridges or 10 bridges.  The 10 bridge option is about 25 miles long.

What the heck have I gotten myself into?!?!?!  Here is just another example of how Cheaters Never Prosper. I had no choice but to continue. I was tired and the taxi dreams were getting stronger.

Turns out we were headed to the St. Johns Bridge.  The furthest bridge North. Fun fact: it is the only suspension bridge out of the bunch. They had closed the on ramp for the bridge which made it convenient to access. At some point, I got off my bike to walk up the on ramp. It was a steep incline okay, I was tired and soar already. I had a fixed speed bike.  I didn’t even know what that meant before I had this adventure LOL

Then another shameful thing happened. I saw a man peddling fast going up the ramp, passing me by with not one, not two but three individual kid pod carriers behind him. Whoa, new goal.  I had come so far, I was so unprepared, I was so tired that it wasn’t motivating enough to get back on the bike.  I did stand there in awe of his moment.  I silently gave him praise and wished that I was in better shape.  The moment has stayed with me 7 years later.

I got back on the bike at the top of the ramp, rode over the bridge, headed back down towards where I started and couldn’t have been happier to be heading back. The ride back was fantastic.  They closed part of the Highway 405 which is a major thorough fare.  The event starts at 5:00 a.m. because they want to start opening back up the bridges at 11:00 a.m. You can imagine the delays in traffic this event causes once a year. It’s a big deal and I really wanted to do it. I was doing it.  Even if it meant sneaking in with my rented fix speed bike.

I started at 8:00 a.m.. It took me 3 1/2 hours to finish from where I snuck in ( rental due back by noon). I ended up riding over 6 of the bridges. In no particular order (corresponding pictures ) the Marquam Bridge, the Broadway Bridge, the Steel Bridge, the St. Johns Bridge and the Freemont Bridge, and the Burnside Bridge.

 

 

I never want to ride my bike to the St. Johns Bridge ever again. Kuddos to you if you do.  I would however do the Family ride which includes 6 bridges and the 405n Highway.  Be safe out there!  Bridge Pedal

 

114 jobs and counting

I have been working for as long as I can remember. It is common for me to have at least 2 jobs, more like 3 or 4 at a time. I work one full time job and then a bunch of part time ones that fill in nights and weekends.

Work Work Work

One day my friend Joe asked me how many jobs I have had in my lifetime. I was in my late 30’s and I decided to give this question some serious contemplation. I decided to make a list. A complete, thorough and accurate list, to the best of my ability. I even dug out old tax returns to remember some places of employment. If I received money for services, I put it on the list. Even if it was just a one time payment. The list was up to 109 places and counting. Then I moved to Oregon at the end of 2010. I have only added 5 jobs since. I am not dead yet and I don’t plan to live out the rest of my days in Oregon so it’s guaranteed the jobs list will grow longer (SMH).

Since I started working at a young age, it’s no wonder I have hit triple digits.

At 10 years old – I remember being motivated to sell the most Girl Scout cookies in my troop so that I could win the grand prize of a trip to Denver. I knocked on doors before and after school. I did it right away to beat the other kids. I used the weekends to go around to businesses in the area. It worked. I won!!

At 12 years old – I started finding ways to make money. I grew up in a poor household and learned early on that I would have to help myself wherever and when ever I could. In addition to babysitting gigs, I would shovel snow out of the neighbors driveways. I caught grasshoppers for the gentlemen on the block that used them for fishing.

At 14 years old – I got a workers permit. Then a very nice elderly gentleman gave me a job at small restaurant. It was called “Your Hearts Delight”. It was a one man show and I became his sidekick. I was the hostess, server, cashier and bus boy. I even learned how to make an open faced tuna melt sandwich. The type of healthy food he served was ahead of his time. After a few months of being open, his restaurant was featured in the local news and I got to be in the commercial.

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At 16 years old – I got a paper route and a job at Taco Bell. I worked for El Pollo Loco where they made me wear the chicken suit to stand outside and wave people in. Working fast food was mortifying. Frequently I saw kids from my High School when they would come through the drive through.

***I will spare you the list of all the places I have worked. There were a lot of fast food places/ restaurants between the ages of 16- 18 years old.

At 18 years old – I started working in offices as receptionists and secretarial work. This would be the start of my 25+ year accounting career. It would also be the time I would learn that working for family owned business can provide extra challenges than regular places.

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At 22 years old – I learned how to deal blackjack in Las Vegas. After returning to Austin, TX, this would be my part time job moving forward. I currently deal blackjack part time at casino parties all across the state of Oregon. I have been dealing blackjack since 1997. I love playing it. I love teaching it. It will be one of those jobs I do until I die.

At 25 years old – I will begin attending college. I am paying for it myself and on the part time plan. it would take 10 years to complete and I will work any random job I can find.

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At 33 years old- I would deal blackjack and Texas Hold Em poker in a titty bar. This would be the funnest job I have had yet. I worked there for a couple of years. It would pay for the last two years of college. I borrowed the maximum amount allowed for an undergraduate degree. I had too much fun dressing up, drinking and gambling all for the sake of work. Some of my best friends will come from working here ❤

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At 40 years old- I become an Airbnb host. This experience has inspired me to write a book and start this blog. I have hosted close to 800 people in just 2.5 years. This experience has also sparked the next dream job.

At 42 years old – I finally get to stop being a bookkeeper. I have a degree in International Studies with a minor in Spanish. I will pick up some transcribing work while figuring out how to make the dream job happen.

So that’s how I have arrived to the present moment. I am amazed when I hear stories from people who have lived in the same city their entire life. Amazed when I hear someone say they have held a job longer than 5 years. That’s the longest I have made it in one position.

They say variety is the spice. Apparently I like it spicy.

Next Stop: Opening up a Bed & Breakfast somewhere in Spain.

Ride Shares – Adventurous or Risky Business ??

I had never considered using the ride share section on Craigslist until my friend Wrenna said she had great success with it. She is a twenty something hippie kid from Ashland so maybe her trust level is different than mine ?

I did grow up in a time ( the 80’s and early 90’s ) where hitchhiking was common and relatively safe. I can’t remember ever doing it though.

I wanted to go to Oregon Country Fair and I didn’t have a car.  I moved to Oregon with a car but it died a year later.  I wasn’t in a position to purchase another one right away so I became a bike only girl. That adjustment will go down in history as one of the all time biggest adjustments I have had to make yet.  I rode down with the coworker that told me about the event the first year I moved here.

In order to get to fair from Portland, you need a car.  It’s in Veneta Oregon, which is a few hours away.  I also like to be able to arrive and depart when I feel like it.

I missed fair for a few years in a row and I was aching to go again.

I decided to give this ride share thing a try. It would be cheaper than renting a car on my own. Boy was I nervous.  This is really out of my comfort zone.  The thought of it being out of my comfort zone amuses me now that I have been to Burning Man a couple of times. Regardless…….

I went to Craigs List, found an option that worked for me and reached out.  I remember he didn’t have his shit together and we would be leaving later than he stated in the listing because he needed to clean out his car and get gas.  I didn’t have a choice but to wait.

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Once he picked me up, making conversation was easy.  Once we arrived, we parted ways to experience fair on our own. We set a time to meet back at the car. The drive home was challenging for me.  Having to listen to this middle aged guy go on and on about the number of young girls breasts he saw made me want to throw up.  Instead I pretended I had smoked too much weed, was tired from walking around the event and closed my eyes to sleep the whole way home. Never again.

 

The following year I decided to rent a car and offer a ride to other people.  I ended up with 3 other passengers, one of whom did not have their ticket and made the whole car go out of it’s way to a location where one could be purchased. You can not purchase them at the gate. Besides that, they were nice enough.

We also parted our individual ways to experience fair and meet back up at the car at a set time to travel home to Portland.  I didn’t have to hear about tits and I was much happier.

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This year, I am still a bike only girl that wants to go to the 50th anniversary Oregon Country Fair event.  Since I have been on both sides of the coin. I prefer to be in charge therefore I have rented a car. I posted in the ride share group on Facebook. I also put a listing in the ride share section of Craigs List.  I am up for some adventure and just know the people that I give a ride to will be nothing short of awesome. My heart and mind are open ❤

 

I CAN’T WAIT TO GO TO FAIR THIS YEAR. I AM THE MASTER OF MY DESTINY.

 

 

Stop thinking with your penis and be my friend.

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Why? Why? Why? is it so challenging……

It’s the age old dilemma.

Can straight cis men and straight cis women just be friends?

I say yes, yes they can.

As soon as men think past their dicks.

I have met some men recently that I like. I like who they are. They are Reliable, Generous, Hard Working, Thoughtful men.

I am not attracted to them sexually. I just enjoy their company and it shines through my eyes.

Men tend to mistake nice for interested. Letting them know you aren’t interested means you run the risk of loosing potential friendship.

Once they realize that I’m not interested, I think they feel rejected and have a hard time continuing to hang out.

Age doesn’t seem to matter for this dynamic. I am going to be 45 this year and I have been experiencing this situation since I was 12.

I’m tired of it. When will it end?

I just want to be able to be myself. The nice, supportive, funny, charming, good listening, positive, adventurous side of myself. I want to be able to let someone of the opposite sex see the entire me and enjoy the parts they like without giving me a sexual vibe or entertaining sexual thoughts. Is it really that hard to think with the head on your shoulders and only that head?

It must be considering how often men cheat, try non monogamous relationships and talk about spreading their seed. Variety is the spice of life. I am willing to seriously attempt to understand the science behind the bio physical responses that your dick has. Can I say dick this many times?! I guess so, it is my blog (ha😜)

I have also heard the only way men and women end up as friends is because one of them isn’t returning the others attraction. That one person ends up settling for the friendship. Sometimes the flame is still there and they are waiting it out, sometimes the flame dies and friendship can remain.

I have a dear male friend that I have known since college. I have dated his friends and he has dated mine. We have a great time together. He has added so much value to my solitary life that I can’t say enough good things about him. Of all the things I have learned from him, the feeling of being included and how to be hospitable stand out the most.

One time we were out drinking in Austin TX and I decided to share with him the theory I heard about how men and women become “just friends”.

After I explained, we both said, so you were the one who was into me?

Then we laughed and laughed and went back to salsa dancing.

This is how I know it’s possible. Not one time did I ever think about wanting to be with him. I have nothing but nice things to say about him too. He is married now with a son, caring for his aging parents, working to get his company off the ground and just all around being a good human.

I hope we stay in touch and remain good friends until one of us is no longer on this earth.

I also hope that I will be able to make more male friends. I like men. I like gay men, trans men, cis men, Drag Kings, straight men- ALL the men.

I could also use more friends. Julie party of one is fun. Life is more fun with friends!

Unisex Sizing- what does that mean?

It means Men ‘s sizes.

I paid $75 to figure that out .

I thought I would share this tidbit for free – here and now. Maybe you already knew this ( good for you 🙂 if you did )

Vans shoes did an endangered species line of shoes

They partnered with artist Ralph Steadman (out of California)

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I got the ones with bees on them. I got them from Sneakers & Stuff. I do not recommend purchasing from that company. If you need to do return or exchange , you will need to ship your item back to Sweden. Do you know how much it costs to ship to Sweden? Hundreds of dollars. They are also charging $30 euros if the shoebox being returned is damaged.

Now I am tasked with trying to recover my money. I will sell them on Ebay or Offer Up or Let Go. Cross your fingers for me that I get what I paid for them or it is going to be a very expensive lesson to learn what Unisex sizing means.

Now that I am writing about it, I am thinking I could have Googled the definition. I thought I had it figured out and that unisex just meant universal. Sneakers & Stuff had a calculation tool where you put what size you wear in other brands and then they used this calculation to auto populate the size you would purchase from them. I rolled with it……

Don’t make the same mistake I did.

There is always time for a parade!

Every year the City of Portland which is also known as the City of Roses puts on the Rose Festival which includes the Rose Parade, the Starlight Parade and the City Fair. I have yet to see the Starlight Parade or go to the City Fair in the last 8.5 years. I have watched the Rose parade go by the Broadway Bridge for about 30 minutes (a couple of times). There are people who camp the night before to reserve their front row spot. One year I was lucky enough to join a friend who was meeting up with her family in one of those front spots. I bought them all ice cream for letting me join. It was lovely to have great seating without sleeping on the street to get it.

I know that I will leave Portland Oregon soon and before I do , I would like to cross some quintessential Portland activities off the To Do list.

This year nothing is going to hold me back from doing all the little things I want to do. I plan to do them by myself since it will guarantee I get to do them when I want and when I find myself available. If other people want to join that would be great. I just don’t plan to put much effort into getting other people to go since it’s more trouble than it’s worth these days.

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It was a beautiful weekend in Portland Oregon last week and I was on my way to work at Providence Park (home to the Timbers and Thorns soccer teams). It was opening weekend for both teams. The stadium was also going to reveal the 5,000 newly added seats and new areas for season ticket holders and other VIP people. I heard it was a year long project that cost 80 million dollars. ( they scheduled me to work in this fancy area both days ).

The opening season Timbers game on Saturday was nuts. There were SO many people there. The city closes both Max stops that are closest to the stadium, after the game, for reasons I am unaware of. One stop is called Providence Park. Doesn’t it just force all the people to the next closest stop? After a quick observation of this, I decided to ride my bike as close to the waterfront as possible and hop on public transportation to take me over the bridge and closer to home.

One of the freedoms of being on a bike means you can make quick decisions and go down spaces cars can not go therefore I don’t always pay attention to which streets I am on. I found myself going down a road that did not have any traffic. Yahoo! So fun to ride down the middle of the street on a beautiful night breathing the fresh air for a few blocks. Then all of a sudden on the event horizon was a parade. The parade took up the entire length of the street and was coming right for me! I was able to see it in the dark because it was the Starlight parade and there were people glowing with lights along with lit up floats. I had a Burning Man flashback and pulled over to the first spot I saw where there were other people. Those people turned out to be the medical table. They had all the information :). I stopped and watched the parade for about 15 minutes since I ended up in the disbanding area and then went home.

On Sunday, I was heading back to the stadium to work the Opening Season Thorns soccer game ( the women’s team). When the max went right by the City Fair. I told myself I would stop by the Fair on my way home from work. It would still be light outside since the sun goes down around 9:00 p.m. this time of year.

I paid for an entire days admission to be there for a few hours. I headed straight for the Ferris wheel, bought one ticket and got in line. When it was my turn to board, they told me there was no single riders and I had missed the sign at the beginning of the line saying so. Wait?! What?! Excuse me…. I am by myself on purpose. I rode my bike down here after work, paid to get in just to ride this ride and now I can’t go?! or better yet, I have to impose myself upon strangers. Strangers that are already in their friend/ dating groups. Are you kidding me?!

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These nice people behind me let me join them and at the end the operator let me out so they could have a round by themselves. I also took many photos of them to show my gratitude. It was fun and I’m glad they let me join them.

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Next, I went for the swing ride called Vertigo. They will let solo riders on this ride. I’m not sure why I didn’t realize it wasn’t the swing ride I love so much, it looked just like it. I was made aware of the difference immediately when we were up in the air, spinning at a speed and angle that did indeed bring on Vertigo. Have you ever had Vertigo? It sucks! It can also take time to go away. I didn’t feel good towards the end of the ride and was happy for it to be over. I had enough money left to play a game or ride one more ride. That Vertigo ride really messed me up and I was ready to go home to lay down therefore I decided to play a game.

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Whac-A-Mole. This game reminds me of my childhood. It gives me a happy memory and I don’t have many of those from childhood. I walked over to play and what did he say….. You can’t play by yourself. What?! Wait?! are you kidding me. When did it become so difficult to go out and do something by yourself.?! I waited around for a few minutes. Surely someone else would want to play this game. Thank goodness someone came over in less than 5 minutes. She was a little lady, about 7 or 8 years old. She had never played. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had played. The game host announces before the game begins that the first person closest to 200 wins a prize ( the reason I couldn’t play myself even though he never explained this part to me). I beat her. She got 80 points, I got 100. I gave her the prize ❤

Then I walked towards the exit gate closest to my bike. Made eyes with a nice looking policeman, talked to the homeless people sitting on a blanket on the sidewalk next to the bike rack. They were enjoying the country music concert coming from the City fair (for free) and then I found the closest max stop to head home.

I did it! Go me! Cross another activity off the list! I managed to see the Starlight Parade and go to the City Fair this year. Next stop Rose Parade – coming this weekend.

I would like to publicly say – Thank you Portland for always having something fun to do. I won’t miss you when I’m gone and yet I’m having a blast while I’m here.

“Nice” is in the eye of the beholder.

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I don’t mean to be rude. I just don’t need help putting my bike in the bike spot on the Max. I have been a bike only girl for over 5 years now, public transportation is my friend since it allows me to get farther faster. I’m so lucky that Portland’s system is reliable, affordable and efficient.

Listen up world 🙂 Just because you see me miss the bike bar the first time I go to put my bike up doesn’t mean I am struggling nor does it mean I need help. Maybe there are people in the way and I have some extra maneuvering to do. Maybe I am in a hurry and didn’t guess the height of the bar accurately.

There isn’t a lot of time to work with after you step onto the Max to get yourself settled in before the door closes and the announcement comes on ” The door are closing, the train is moving, please hold on” . The doors close quick and off you go. I have seen many people loose their balance if they weren’t holding on. If you have more than just yourself to take care of, you better move as quick as you can. It’s common to find people standing in the bike spot. Some of them require you to ask them to move. Even when they can see you have a bike.

I have found that it is hard to sound nice when you are in a rush or you have to speak loudly.

To the nice guy that tried to help me with my bike – it may have sounded harsher than I intended when letting you know I didn’t need help.

To be honest, you are just making it harder for me.

There isn’t much time to get on, make sure the spot is clear of people, take my bike bag off, get my bike on the holding rod and hold on before the light rail starts moving.

There is no time to explain all of this when in the moment.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try to help ladies with things. It just means that you should asses better who needs help and when your help is really needed.

You know that phrase ” Treat others as you wish to be treated ” I wish we could change it to “Treat others as they wish to be treated”

I have the perfect example: One day I went out with 2 other ladies to the neighborhood bar. Let’s call them Franny and Annie. Franny doesn’t like to be left alone while Annie and myself don’t mind. There came a time when Franny announced she was going to go outside to smoke at the very same time Annie announced she was going to use the restroom. This will leave me sitting at the table all by myself ( which is fine by me ) however Franny noticed that was going to happen and she sat back down. Isn’t she sweet. I see her heart. I see her nice intentions. She was treating me how she would want to be treated. She really is a sweet thoughtful girl however it was unnecessary. The best scenario would have been where everybody did what they wanted. Annie could use the restroom and Franny could have gone to smoke. I am fine at the table because I am comfortable being alone. She could have treated me how I want to be treated.

I also wish we could get rid of the saying Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

We all belong to the Human Race!

People don’t like to be stolen from, cheated on, lied to, being talked negatively to , have violence perpetrated against them. People don’t like to feel trapped, lonely, sad, etc.

Men this blah blah blah

Women that blah blah blah

I am a women and I don’t mind taking out the trash and I hate doing the dishes.

Putting people into boxes has to stop.

Helping people who need help should continue. Thanks for the try random guy. Better luck next time ❤

When your biological mother is terrible and it’s Mother’s Day.

My biological mother is a see you next Tuesday

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Since Mother’s Day is the day to celebrate moms, I like to turn my focus towards Mother Earth. Mother Gaia.

Mother Gaia is always around and she treats everyone equally. She is a loving energy that supports and nourishes life. (She is worthy of Our Praise everyday!)

So if you don’t know who your mom is or if you don’t like the one you have, please know that there are many many many people in the world that can relate.

The parent-child relationship is one of the most tumultuous relationships that exists.

I’ve been lucky enough to have been mothered by other people’s Mother’s/ women along the way. It is because of them I know what it’s like to be supported, treated with respect and to feel loved. As I grow older, I understand better the important role they played in my life. They are the gift I take with me daily. I also bear the daily burden of my DNA.

I’m going to be 45 this year. Most of my friends are mothers now. It’s great to see them being fantastic moms. Some of them are great moms because they learned from their own Mom. Some are great moms because their awful past showed them what not to do and they have somehow managed to rise above it. Some are great moms because they’ve done a lot of reading, asked questions, took classes and did research. Every human on this earth came from a women. Strong moms are needed in the world.

No matter the route you took to become a good mom, I personally would like to say thank you for taking the time and doing the hard work. Clearly not everyone is successful at being a good mom. There are too many kids in the world that need nurturing support, the kind only a good Mother’s Love can provide.

I would like to give a shout out to all the ladies that mothered me- Shout out to, Mrs. Williams, Mrs. Alexander,Carol, Mrs. Doland and Mrs. Thomas!!!!! I have infinite gratitude to them for allowing me to experience what having a good mom feels like.

I volunteer at the Children’s Hospital in the NICU on Sundays. Those babies have a rough start to life and for a multitude of reasons not every mother can be around. I can’t wait to give them an extra squeeze today.

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If you are one of the people in the world today that isn’t enjoying it… I would like to remind you to focus on Mother Earth AND start being your own mom. Parent yourself the way that you wish you were treated, that’s what I have learned to do ❤💚💜💙💛 Feels good.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Dirty Jokes – 10 easy ones to remember

I find jokes to be a good way to switch gears in conversation. They come in real handy when there is an awkward moment and no one knows where to redirect ( perfect time for a joke). They are also just fun to tell. Sometimes you even get a good one in return!

I find the short and sweet ones easier to remember. I also love a dirty joke. Here are my top go to jokes when the situation requires. I hope you are able to remember them and put them to good use. At the very least, I hope you enjoy them. Disclaimer ** I did not create these jokes, someone has told them to me and I wish I could give credit where credit is due**

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Joke: What’s good on pie but not on pussy?
Punchline: Crust

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Joke: What do parsley and pubic hair have in common?
Punchline– you just push them aside and keep on eating

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Joke: What do you get when you finger a gypsy on the rag?
Punchline– your palm red

Joke: How does a hillbilly know when his sister is on the rag?
Punchline– because his daddy’s dick taste funny

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Joke: Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party?
Punchline– to find a tight seal

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Joke: What do Brussel sprouts and anal sex have in common?
Punchline Chances are if it was forced on you when you were younger, you’re not gonna like it later.

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Joke: Hold up your first two fingers in the air like the photo and say – Why should girls use THESE two fingers to masturbate
Punchline– (say with a sly fox tone ) because they are mine

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Joke: What’s the best part about having sex with twenty five year olds?
Punchline– There are twenty of them.

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Joke: Why can’t barbie get pregnant ?
Punchline– because ken cums in a different box

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Joke- What’s the difference between a catholic priest and a pimple?
Punchline- Pimples don’t come on a boy’s face until they’re 13

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I’ve never been skinny dipping and before I die, I would like to.

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There are a few things I would like to do before I die and going skinny dipping with other people is one of them.  It doesn’t have to be a lot of people and it doesn’t even have to be in an epic place (although that would be preferred).

You know – somewhere magical, like the Dead Sea or the Maldives/ If it’s not going to be epic than at least let it be warm!

I came close once to accomplishing this goal when I was twenty one.  I was in Enid Oklahoma. 300px-USA_Oklahoma_location_map.svg I traveled there with one of my Air Force buddies who had graduated from the Academy and was assigned to go to pilot training at Vance AFB. I thought it would be fun to road trip with him, stay for the weekend to hang out, see some mutual friends, and then fly back home to Colorado Springs. I might have changed my mind had I known the heater in his car was broken, stuck on hot, and would be for the entire drive up there.  The only way to survive was to not wear many clothes and have those windows rolled down.  When I look back now, it is a fond memory. It makes me laugh and fills my heart with love. At the time though, it wasn’t so much fun. Quite painful actually.

I knew it was going to be an interesting weekend.  How could it not be since I  would have to see my ex boyfriend. The one that broke up with me after 2 years of dating since he wanted to be a pilot and moved to another state to go to pilot school. He also graduated from the Academy and was at Vance AFB.  He is the reason I know all these Air Force men.  I was not looking forward to seeing him however I was looking forward to seeing  an old roommate of mine. She was in town visiting her Air Force boyfriend.  They decided to do the long distance thing, which is rare.  When men get ready to graduate from the Academy, they are given a lecture which includes some advice about their significant others.  They are told they their lives are about to change in a big way.  Their new lives will be filled with a lot of moving and the only way to have their girlfriends come along is to marry them.  They tell them to either marry or break up.  UnknownThe grass isn’t always greener. Even though my old roommate’s boyfriend decided to try long distance thing, he then preceded to cheat on her while he was away.  I happened to find out this information and I am a girls girl so I told her.  She was able to find some evidence on her own that confirmed what she heard. This information is devastating! Which she was for a little while and then married him anyway. I think it is because she said she would only have sex when married and she gave him her virginity. P.S I went to that wedding, it wasn’t fun for me ( a whole other story ) and now that I am thinking about all this….. I wonder if they are still currently married??

 

Back to the almost skinny dipping:

I went out that first night we arrived and got terribly drunk. Running into the ex boyfriend didn’t help the drinking cause. I am not a big drinker nor do I handle alcohol well. I am a much better stoner and there was no pot to be found around all these military kids and on base. So drinking it was!!

There were lots of cute boys around and I found one of them interesting enough to hang out with for a while. At the end of the night, he invited me to go back to his place with some of his friends.  His friends also brought along girls.  There we were six of us total. Three guys and three girls. They were all strangers to me.  I don’t know how it got suggested we take a dip in the pool…

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Of course none of us girls had swimsuits with us. (The pivotal moment)  The moment that sparked the skinny dipping idea.  The moment I learned how prude I was.  The moment I learned that for a liberal minded girl, I am conservative in the sex department. The moment I realized how unfun I was going to look/ be.

I watched everyone else strip down. They seemed to be enjoying the spontaneous moment.  They weren’t insecure enough to be worried about their bodies. They just seemed to be having fun.  I wanted to have fun.  Boy was I torn. I ended up stripping down to my bra and panties.  Comments were made about how a bra and panties is a lot like a swim suit and therefore I wasn’t being very risqué. I wasn’t and that would just have to be okay.

Everyone was having so much fun that it caught the attention of the Military Police.

Swimming didn’t last long and soon we found ourselves with flashlights shinning on us and commands being shouted at us to get out of the pool.  They lined us up and wanted to see ID. I didn’t have ID with me. That didn’t settle well with the police.  You should have heard the way they asked me questions. What was I doing there? Who did I know? Why would I come out with strange boys as a young girl? What was I thinking?  Did I know how much trouble I could be in..

Thank goodness the guy I came with piped up to claim me. In hindsight , it probably cost him more punishment.

Regardless, the moment was over and it was time to take my soaking wet self back to my buddy’s house. As I crawled into bed, I mumbled a few words to explain the wet clothes and told him I would tell him more in the morning.

This has been the only time I have come close to skinny dipping.  Did I miss out?  Why is so hard to be in your body in a vulnerable way with others when they seem to be at more ease with the moment? I know that people do the best that they can in any given moment. I also know it is important to always be comfortable.

I have been working on being comfortable in my naked body for years now. Not only am I comfortable being naked now at forty four than ever, I am more comfortable doing it in front of others. I know that from this moment on, if the opportunity presents itself , that I will be able to meet the moment. I also know that if the opportunity doesn’t present itself that I will need to create it, especially before I die ❤

 

 

 

 

Camping Chairs and other people

This situation happens to me all too often and I am starting to wonder how other people handle it.  I am looking for proactive approaches vs avoiding it/ not saying anything about it.  Your suggestions are welcomed ❤

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The situation: You have set up your camping chair where you plan to sit and whenever you go to sit in it , someone else is already there. Maybe you know them, maybe you don’t 🙂

I find the psychology of it all fascinating.  Clearly not every person brought a chair for themselves ( which is fine ) but how is it that those people aren’t the ones sitting on the ground?  More often than not they are sitting in someone else’s chair….

If confrontation wasn’t challenging enough there is an extra layer of difficulty in realizing that the group of people you are surrounded by are your friends or they are friends of your friends. Either way, it is a friendly gathering. 

Yet somehow the fact that I care about being able to use the chair I  brought for myself makes me not as “cool”, not as “friendly” and potentially “mean” to some people. Someone did not bring a chair for themselves.  There aren’t enough extras and it just never fails that someone is always sitting in mine.

What am I supposed to say, especially if they have been there for awhile and now I need it?  What if it is dinner time and we are settling into our spots and the person in my chair has already started eating?

Article-With-Tag-Bungee-Folding-Lounge-Chair-Walmart-ThevolWhat if there are other chairs open to sit and yet I still want mine?  I care about my comfort. I bought a nice chair. I made sure to bring a chair.  I have lower back issues and sometimes my knee hurts from an old injury. Not any ole chair will do which is why I took care of my needs by bringing an awesome chair.

Why is this even a battle?  Shouldn’t the people who came without a chair realize they don’t have one and automatically take a different spot?

So here I am left with deciding how to get to use the chair I brought. { Once I made sure to bring an extra chair and it just got sat in as well.} Please don’t suggest that lol .

Will getting my chair require banishing someone to the ground? Will it require me looking mean when I politely say I would like to sit in my chair? Should I lead with fake gushing apologies to look nicer while doing it?

What would you do?  Thanks in advance for your time and sharing your thoughts on this tiny matter that ends up meaning so much more than about a chair.

No-one really likes “every” type of music.

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Whenever the question “What’s your favorite type of music?” comes up and I hear the answer, “I like everything.”

I can’t help to think that’s probably not true!

I’ve been taking a survey (in life) along the way and I bet I can prove that answer untrue with three questions.

  1. Do you like Country Music?
  2. Do you like Death Metal?
  3. Do you like Christian Rock?

These three simple catagories asked in a row lets people know that they really didn’t mean EVERYTHING.

Of course there are 1,264 micro genres of music to list…..

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I am a big fan of music therefore I understand the tendency to say you like it all however in reality I haven’t met anyone that likes it all.

For example- I like Electronic music, Alternative Rock, Salsa music, Afro music, and Pop music. I like Indie Rock and Reggae and Classical music too. I do not like Modern Country, Heavy Metal, or Christian Rock.

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I think a better answer to the “What kind of music do you like ?” question is- almost everything or most everything. You could list your top five favorites.

Saying you like everything just isn’t true. It’s okay to be more accurate and thoughtful with the answer especially for the people who are listening to the words you are saying and taking them at face value . Thanks in advance for considering a more accurate answer. I look forward to continuing my survey!

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Life is more fun with friends and if they don’t show up….

969205_10151468021046033_616595444_nYou go out and do things alone. Yes, all by yourself (with other people) (that you don’t know) so it’s like you are by yourself anyways.

Is it awkward at first? Yes

Does it make you interact with the world in a way that you wouldn’t if you had a friend with you? Yes

Do you get used to it? Yes

Will it eventually be something you look forward to? Yes

This alone thing is liberating!

I started small by :

  • going to the movies
  • shopping
  • Yoga, Pilates, Boot Camp, Boxing, you name the workout class
  • Then I worked my up to eating a meal in a restaurant alone instead of ordering it to go and eating at home.
  • After that came having a cocktail at a bar.
  • I have managed to go see live music by myself.

Why should I have to miss out on all the adventures I want to have because I can’t find anyone to come along?

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Recently I went white water rafting alone. It was such a fantastic Saturday that I feel inspired to plan more adventures to do by myself. Next will be the Downwind in Hood River on a SUP board.

 

Doing things alone this year is easier than it has ever been before.  Many events and meditations have brought me to my current understanding and comfort level for solo adventures.  In 2013 I had a major realization while I was in Maui, Hawaii.  I went to visit a new friend that was going there for the season to work on a boat.  The boat would give whale watching/snorkeling tours.  I would get to be on the island for 10 days. I had never been to Hawaii before and I was very excited!!

What I did not realize about this vacation was that she was in the beginning passionate throes of a relationship and I would be the third wheel. I am no stranger to being odd man out however I was not very practiced in the art of doing things alone and I was looking forward to some quality time with a girlfriend.  She had to work a lot during my time there. When she wasn’t working, she was hanging out with her boyfriend and me.  I did not like her boyfriend which added to the disappointment.  My first day there, I did get to go on the boat she was working on for a whale watching tour. I saw so many whales. Everytime someone had a sighting they would yell it out so we all could catch a glimpse.  Breach- 3 o’clock Jumping_Humpback_whale

Before the boat trip started, I should have followed my friends lead with the sunscreen. I figured I lived in Texas for fifteen years and I don’t normally burn so I didn’t need to slather it on. Hindsight revealed living in Oregon for 2 years was enough time for my skin to turn pasty white effectively making it sensitive to the Hawaii sun.  I did not apply enough sunscreen and got the worst sunburn EVER.  I was miserable for a week easy.  Being so burned made sleeping difficult. I had to take Oatmeal baths several nights in a row and by the time it went away there was only three days of vacation left. I was in paradise and I did not want to spend anymore time in the sun.

Maui is a small island and I did the typical touristy things.  Whale watching, snorkeling, Lunch in Lahaina where the Banyan Tree is,  Polipoli Spring State Recreation Area for disc golf, watching the fire dancers on Little Beach, the Road to Hana where we camped at the end to visit the Seven Sacred Pools.

My life changing realization happened the night we went camping, when we were at the end of the Road to Hana.  We decided to stay so we could explore the Seven Sacred Pools in the morning. I am an early riser, waking up between 4:30a.m. to 6:30a.m. Pacific Standard Time.  Since there was a two hour time difference between Oregon and Hawaii at the time, I was up way too early.  Wide awake at 3:30 in the morning.  My friends were on Hawaii time and liked to sleep late. I would be up a full seven hours before they would rise.  What was I going to do with myself? I layed there for a bout an hour before I got up and went to explore. I knew I couldn’t go too far on the off chance my friends woke up early.  My exploration led me to discover a beautiful waterfall.  I spent some time here taking a bunch of selfies.  At some point, a small group of people came into the area.  They asked if I was alone.  That is when it occurred to me! Even though technically I was with other people, in reality I was alone. Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely.  I was just hyper aware of my aloneness.IMG_20130131_094657.jpg

Aren’t we always alone I replied? ( Lightbulb moment) I mean we are born alone, we die alone and the time in between we walk the path of our lives alone.  Here I was on this beautiful island for vacation, I had come to meet a friend and spend time with her but she was busy working and being with her boyfriend.  Technically I was with people. In reality I was alone.  I was on my own, even when they were around.

I could tell you many stories where I have found myself in a similar position.  It wasn’t always easy to be there.  Now I don’t mind.  I frequently choose it.  I also look forward to having it all my way since there isn’t anyone else to take into consideration.  Who doesn’t love that?

One of my favorite sayings is an African saying.

If You Want To Go Fast, Go Alone. If You Want To Go Far, Go Together

I would like nothing more than to go far in life so until friends show up and stick around and until friends commit to joining me, you can find me on some adventure by myself having a great time ❤

 

 

Most embarrassing moment ever!

I am a late bloomer in life.

Even though girls were having sex in 6th and 7th grade, I had not gone to second base yet and I was in 8th grade. My first kiss was in 7th grade. I know.

I got invited to go to camp during my 8th grade year. My home life wasn’t the greatest so any chance to get away was an opportunity I didn’t miss. Sign me up!

I wish I could remember the name of that place however it long escapes me. I do remember when we arrived our first scheduled activity was to divide the boys and girls into two teams for some competition. We were going to play games to see which team would get to sleep in the better of the two cabins. Even though the competition was fierce and we didn’t go down without a good fight. In the end, the girls did not win.

Our cabin contained barely the basics. It was one big room filled with metal bunk beds. The sheets looked scary to sleep on and more sheets doubled as curtains to cover the windows. The showers didn’t have doors and it was generally grimy.

After dropping our stuff off, we were required to meet back up to eat dinner together and discuss the activities for the weekend. The big event was going to be a dance. We all knew there was going to be one so I planned for it.

I wanted to make sure I would look cute. I had a boy to impress. A boy I heard had taking a liking to me and when I found out who he was, I liked him right back. So, I bought this two piece skirt outfit from Merry Go Round in the mall. It was black and gold. The top was just long enough to show 2 inches of skin between the skirt and the top. The skirt went just below the knee and fitted nicely. The top had gold circles down either side that held black ribbon that crossed between them giving it a corset feel. Now that I am a grown up, it was way too sexy for a girl in 8th grade to wear to a dance.

In the middle of dinner I snuck away to get a head start on taking shower / getting ready for the dance. I brought a friend with me to be the lookout. We almost made it through the process.

Since there were no shower curtains covering the shower stall, I moved through the process as quickly as I could. It was cold in there ( in the cabin and in the shower stall). I managed to wash and condition my hair, wash my face and body as well as shave. I was feeling good when an adult came down into the bathroom to scold us and redirect us back up to join the group. We weren’t allowed to be on our own without adult supervision.

I remember feeling a little self-conscious knowing I had to go back to where everybody was and face the group of popular boys. They can be cruel. My hair was still wet and I didn’t have a stitch of make up on.

Sure enough after a few minutes, I saw them glance at each other. There was whispering and giggling. My worst fears were coming true.

Eventually we were dismissed from dinner and given permission to retreat to our respective cabins to get ready for the dance. I couldn’t get back there fast enough to change into my outfit, finish my hair, and makeup.

I went to the dance. I was feeling cute. I danced with that boy Jay as well as a few others. I had a nice time. I don’t remember anything eventful happening at the dance. We were young and it ended early.

The next morning a group of us girls wanted to check out the boys cabin. We ran up there before it was time to get in the van and go home.

That cabin was so nice! It looked like a log cabin inside and out. It had beds that folded out from the wall. Clean looking sheets. It had several rooms. There were curtains. The showers had doors. You get the idea. Nice.

I made it into on of the “popular boys” rooms when I decided to ask him what all the snickering was a bout the day before. Was it because I looked ugly with no makeup? I couldn’t have never guessed what he was about to tell me.

A group of them ( including Jay ) had also decided to sneak away from the group during dinner to explore the grounds. They came upon the girls cabin and were peeking in the windows. It was easy to see through the space the “sheet curtains” allowed for.

When the peeped in, they saw a girl in the shower washing herself and shaving her legs. My backside was to them. I was bent over washing and shaving my legs. Boy did they get an eye full. I was mortified. He continued to say, they didn’t realize it was me until I popped up from the task and they saw my face. They were surprised it was me! I had no idea they were there! This “show” they got would continue to haunt me for the rest of the school year.

Can you imagine what that was like to have a group of the popular boys watch you shower when you haven’t even let a guy touch your boobs? Imagine the delight they took in their secret all night, at my expense.

I was reminded of the event almost every day at school from that moment forward as they took pleasure in looking me up and down with that “look” in their eyes, whenever our paths would cross.

I thought I was going to die.

The Best Things To Do In Portland Oregon

photo-1436505743955-a98c0d3eb1a8I have been living in Portland since March of 2011 and I am still loving it. Portland isn’t a big town.  It is a dense town, which means you get a lot of options in a small radius.  Portland is made up of lots of neighborhoods (each with their own flavor). As a local, it is common to stick to your part of town since you can find everything you need in your neighboorhood.  Overall Portland is known for its nature, coffee, beer, food and strippers.

Over the last seven years, I have had several friends visit, which has prompted me to find all the fun things in town to do.  I also run an Airbnb, so I am constantly offering suggestions to guests.

Getting around town

  • The public transportation in Portland is reliable, efficient and affordable.  The TriMet system is the organization that runs the Max (aka: the light rail), the bus and the street car.  It costs $5 for an all day pass.  You can use your ticket to ride any of the options for public transportation.
  • You can also Rent Bikes. If you do get a bike, I encourage you to ride it around the Eastbank Esplanade.  Bikes are allowed on the bus, light rail and street car.

 

The esplanade goes around the waterfront and Steel Bridge
The Loop.

 

  • You will need a car if you want to go to the Gorge, the Coast or Mount Hood.

West Side/ Downtown of Portland

oPortland City Grill is located on the 30th floor of the Bancorp tower otherwise know as Big Pink.  UnknownBig Pink has its own Instagram page dedicated to it. If you are driving, there is a parking garage right next to it.  PCG will validate your parking for up to two hours.  There is also a max stop right in front of it.

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Powell’s Books Store.  Quintessential Portland. Give yourself some time to be in here. There are many rooms to explore and gifts to consider.

 

 

portland-parks-m25d0img24312-sPark Blocks.  Have you seen the movie that was filmed in Portland, What the Bleep Do We Know?  There is a scene explaining quantum physics using a basketball.  It was filmed in the Park Blocks.

 

1486700177406Portland Art Museum.
The first Thursday of Every Month is free from 5:00p.m. to 8:00 p.m.

 

 

img_6381Portland Saturday Market– Where local artists come together to sell you their creations.  Happening weekends, March through Christmas Eve.  This is a great place to shop whether you’re a local or a tourist.

 

1297969442-screen_shot_2011-02-17_at_11.02.55_amGround Kontrol.

The places where you can drink and play video games. All ages until 4:30p.m. daily.

 

 

Places to Eat :

Piazza Italia– my favorite Italian restaurant

Cool Moon Ice Cream– right next door to Piazza Italia

Thai Peacock– my favorite Thai restaurant

Voodoo Doughnuts if you must– I think they are over rated.  Don’t buy the hype.  The one downtown always has a line out the door.  They only take cash.  There is a location on the east side you can walk right into most anytime. I saw someone get married there once.  There was a line that day since they shut down the store for a few minutes.

Alder Street Food Carts or the Food Carts on SW 3rd Ave between SW Washington and SW Stark Street.

Mother’s Bistro– Quintessential Portland Breakfast.  “Call your Mother”

Shopping on NW 23rd Street. A street lined with shopping.  Where us locals  to buy clothes when we aren’t thrift shopping.

 

 

East Side of Portland

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LaurelHurst Park is great because it’s in the middle of the city.  It’s big, has a lake where you can see ducks and birds, etc.

 

 

 

images-1Mount Tabor is an inactive volcano.  Once you’re at the top, you get a great view of the city. If you are visiting in August, be sure to check out Soap Box Derby Races

 

 

 

Places to Eat:

Blue Star Donoughts on Mississippi

Salt and Straw on NE Alberta.Right next to Bollywood Theater

Bollywood Theater– best Indian food in town.

Cruz Room– great tacos.

Por Que No Tacos on Mississippi– Mexican food tacos.

Screen Door– great for breakfast

Dicks Kitchen – healthy eating

There are too many to list!!

You aren’t going to get bad food in Portland.  We like it locally sourced, organic, infused, muddled and flavorful.  If you are Vegetarian, Vegan, Gluten Free or Dairy Free, you are still going to eat well in Portland ❤

 

 

In General

images-1Japanese Garden– Cost $16.95 admission.

This place was recently remodeled and expanded.  It is serene, peaceful, never gets old to visit.  It’s a glimpse into another culture that is not far from the city.  Located in Washington Park.  You can get here with public transportation.

 

 

 


“Amazing View” @  Pittock Mansion

I have never paid to go into the mansion.  I just go around the back to show my friends the free view.  If going inside to see a restored to the time period house interests you then click on the link to get all the information you need to go.

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Portland International Rose Garden in Washington Park
There are over 10,000 rose bushes of approximately 650 varieties. The roses bloom from April through October with the peak coming in June, depending on the weather.

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Vista House in the Gorge. You have to take part of the Colombia Scenic Highway to get here.  Breath taking views as you look east and west. A special place we have just 20 minutes east of the city.

 

stelprd3823422Multnomah Falls 

At the base of Multnomah Falls, the Historic Multnomah Falls Lodge awaits to offer a place of relaxation, a fine meal, the perfect gift, hiking or visitor information, or possibly an espresso or tasty treat to accompany your hike or day trip.

 

 

So there you have it.  There are more places to see, eat and drink of course.  I think the ones I have listed should not be missed. Come enjoy all the things Portland has to offer, stay with me in my Airbnb, we will have a good time 🙂

Safe travels to you!

 

Lifelong friendships can form in the most unexpected ways.

I have moved around a lot in my lifetime which makes it hard to keep friends. The kind of friends that add value to your life, that you can turn to when you need support or a favor.  You know, not the fake kind, not the acquaintance kind, or the kind that turns out to not really be a friend.  People don’t seem to take the time to keep up with long distance friendships. There are the kind of friends that you don’t see for a while and then you pick right back up where you left off when you connect with them.  This kind of relationship takes time to form.  As the years go by, I feel less inclined to put so much work into the people who don’t put work towards sustaining our friendship.  I used to not mind doing the heavy lifting, since I seemed to be better at than most (thanks to all that moving).  Now, I want the same effort in my direction that I put towards others.  I know it’s possible because I am doing it.

I have known my friend Kim for 23 years now.  We will know each other until one of us dies. We met in Colorado Springs, Colorado in the 1994/1995 when I was a mere 20 year old girl.  Colorado Springs had 3 military stations at that time;  Fort Carson Army Base, Peterson Air Force Base and the Air Force Academy.

UnknownMost girls growing up in Colorado Springs have an Air Force boyfriend which really bothered the civilian guys in town.  I can imagine how frustrating it must have been to be a regular guy having to compete with the appeal of pilots and the military uniform.

My Air Force Academy boyfriend’s name was John.   John had best friends that were fraternal twins – Jim and Steve.  Steve’s high school sweetheart, Tracey,  moved to Colorado Springs when Steve got accepted into the Academy.  Tracey lived in an apartment with a girl named Stacy.  I became friends with them both.

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One year Tracey moved away.  Turns out she had some kind of bone cancer, went home and passed away within 5 years.

Stacy got a new roommate named Kim.  It seems that every time I called to talk to Stacy, I got Kim.  Kim and I chatted a lot.  One day, we were chatting and I mentioned I was going to the gym.  Kim said she works out and would also come to the gym so I invited her to go with me. We were to meet at my apartment and go from there.

There was a knock at the door and when I opened it up, to my surprise, I didn’t recognize the person standing there. Hi, Who are you?  “I’m Kim” she says.  Wait! What? We have never met?  Nope, she says.  Well alrighty then, let’s go workout!! We have been friends ever since.  Twenty three years and counting…

Kim and I went to Europe together for 16 days despite the fact that we had not seen each other in over a decade.  We were both 40, we both were single, we both had never traveled to Europe.  We had a blast in Amsterdam, Paris, Rome and the Amalfi Coast. It is hard to decide where to go next since we plan to see some more countries together in the future!

20180630_175430988211987.jpgI finally went to visit her home in Michigan this year, where she has been living for the last 19 years.  I have talked about coming to visit so many times over the years.  It almost happened (twice) when she was going to marry her son’s father. I was supposed to be a bridesmaid however he ended up marrying someone else and having another child.  Kim lives down the street. They spend Christmas together as one big family.  I like it when people are able to genuinely get along.  Kids benefit from that type of positivity.  Can’t fake it though.

20180630_141924402575061.jpgThe reason for this years visit was because her son was graduating High School. They were having a big party to celebrate – all the friends and family were invited.  It was so great to meet her son, meet her friends from second grade, and meet her mom and dad!  It made my heart so full. I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.

 

 

Thanks Kim, for being the kind of person you are- Fun loving, generous, sweet, caring, and one hardworking Momma.  I am proud to call you my friend.

 

 

 

 

 

My favorite Vegan Cookbook. You will hardly notice the vegan part :)

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I have not been a big meat eater for most of my life. I dabbled with being a vegetarian one other time and I made it five years before my body asked for a turkey leg. I was at Pecan Street Festival in Austin, Texas, where I was living at the time. There were all these people walking around with them and I couldn’t help myself. Yes, I got really sick after a few bites.

Currently, I am working towards being a vegan. I gave up red meat about 5 years ago. Chicken about 3 years ago. Bacon was the last thing I needed to give up and that happened the beginning of 2017 . I still eat wild caught fish maybe once or twice a month. I gave up dairy about 4 years ago (although I cheat when I’m hungry and it’s too challenging to find dairy free food). I try to make it goat’s milk at least. I know I know. Animal milk is for animal babies. Doctor’s shocking recommendation about drinking Milk!

Eggs seem to be the most challenging to give up. I don’t mind using a flax seed egg substitute or a chia seed egg when baking. There is just no good substitute for eggs when it comes to making French Toast or Breakfast Tacos.

Being Vegan doesn’t mean you can’t eat the most delicious food. I have discovered that the way to maintaining a successful vegan diet it to replace all the things you are giving up with new options. Lots of new tasty options. You will not feel like you are missing out.

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and your heart and soul can feel happy for all the ethical reasons too!

I did not receive any money for this recommendation. I bought the cookbook since I had been following them on Facebook. I had already made several of their dishes and really really enjoyed them. I was stoked to see this cookbook come out! I have already made several dishes and served them to non vegan friends. I have received nothing but compliments. Even the first time you create one of these recipes -it will turn out delicious!!

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You can get this fabulous cookbook for yourself on Amazon for about $20. Click here to go directly there… Bosh Cookbook

I tell everyone I know about this and even people I don’t. If you are already vegan and looking for new dishes to make, this cookbook is for you. If you are already a vegetarian, this cookbook is for you . If you are just starting to explore being vegan, this cookbook is for you. If you like to eat delicious tasty food, this cookbook is for you.

It took them three years to put it together. Get it while it’s hot!

Where are you from? not an easy question for me.

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When people ask me where I am from, I have to put on my happy face and ask some clarifying questions. Like- What does your question really mean? What information are you really looking for?

  • Did you want to know where I grew up?
  • What does grow up mean to you? childhood years or teenage years?
  • Where you looking to figure out where I was born?
  • Where did I move to Portland from?

Each one of these questions has a different answer. Language is important.

Usually I start by saying. I moved to Portland from Austin, Texas. Then they usually say- oh you grew up in Austin.

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Wait? What? I said I MOVED here from Austin.

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I grew up in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Then they think I was born in Colorado.

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I was born in San Francisco, California

Spent half of the childhood years and 3/4 of my Senior year of High School in the Bay Area.

I realize this question is meant as a friendly conversation starter however I find it painful.

After all the answers- this question comes.

Did you move around so much because your family was in the military?

oh no… another innocent question is about to open a can of worms….

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No, we moved a lot because I had a dysfunctional family – I say with a smile to ease the tension.

I don’t really have any family per se. I have never met my Dad. Well that’s what it feels like anyway. I did see a picture of him holding me when I was about 18 months, my only half-sister passed away and my biological mother is dangerous to my happy life so I don’t talk to her nor have I for a very long time.

I wish society would come up with some other basic questions to get to know each other. Pronto. It’s quite possible that this question serves to constantly remind me that I am not like everyone else and to be comfortable with that. I can relate to orphans more than anyone else. Next question please.

Airbnb: “Airbnb is for little people”

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I have the nicest man for a guest at my Airbnb right now. He exudes genuine positive energy. It radiates. I imagine his wife must be equally cool . They have three daughters. He misses them and he has only been gone for a day.

He is staying for just a couple of nights. He came down from Washington State to work. He is an American professional football player. He is tall and a solid 315 pounds. When he arrived, he was wearing a boot around one of his feet. He has a torn Achilles Heal and I wondered immediately how he would do with the stairs.

It never occurred to me there might be a weight limit on the bed frame in the room.

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The bedrooms make up the entire second floor of the house. The rest is downstairs, including the bathroom. You know he will have to go up and down the stairs a few times everyday to shower and stuff.

I won’t enforce the shoes off policy with him since a persons health is more important than my preference. He should continue to wear that boot. My only request is to be careful with the bathroom rugs and the squishy ones in the kitchen.

Shoes off policy is not just about keeping the floors clean, or keeping all the things you have tracked in out of the kitchen where food is being made, it is mainly about Feet, Shoes, and Feng Shui.

He checked into the house around 9:30p.m. which is close to my bed time. There was another guest arriving at 10:00pm – I wanted to wait up for this guest since it would be his 1st time to use Airbnb. Stays just go better if I can meet and greet, give a tour and let them settle in.

Once everyone was settled, I got undressed to crawl into bed naked to sleep. Sleeping naked is the best and I highly recommend it. Benefits of Sleeping Naked according to Science. Not even 10 minutes later, I heard a loud noise that could be someone falling down the stairs. I got up, opened the door and shouted out ” Everything Okay?”

It took a second to get a response. The response came from the bedroom of the football player. He sat at the edge of the bed and the frame broke. Oh no! He was okay. He felt bad. I felt bad. It required attention and a makeshift solution. This is going to be challenging since I am a minimalist. Not much lying around.

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I went down to the basement and came up with two paint cans. Crossing my fingers they would be the right height. They worked :). As we were putting the cans under the bed for support, he was able to lift the entire bed up with one arm while laying on the floor. This is when he dropped the comment that Airbnb was for little people. I laughed and realized how small everyday things must be for him. He did use a beach towel for a shower towel. I noticed it when he was walking down the stairs because I have the same towel. I made sure to check in with him in the morning to make sure those paint cans were holding up. He slept fine. He was also able to relax and hang out on the bed.

As a Superhost, I feel like I should be able to provide comfortable accommodations to any guest that shows up. Although I do not have the funds right this minute to get another bed frame. It will be the next big purchase I buy for the Airbnb.

Airbnb: Please don’t ask me about the money I make from hosting.

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I understand that people are curious creatures. Humans have a natural instinct to understand the world around them. It is fun to travel and see how other people live life. You could find yourself asking questions to help gain a better understanding of the settings around you. Friendly reminder- there is more than one way to gather information, especially when dealing with sensitive topics.

I find my financial details to be sensitive information and private. I am also willing to express my boundaries. I do not feel bad for standing by them either.

When two strangers meet, their respective boundaries are unknown. Maybe something will be said or done to reveal someone’s boundaries. When boundaries are expressed, it is important to respect them.

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Whenever a guest arrives and proceeds to make conversation about what it must be like to be in the Airbnb business, what it must be like to be a host, what it is like to have strangers around, it seems the money question also comes up. What makes people think it is okay to ask a stranger about their financial situation? and make no mistake, you are asking about money and since I can only speak from my experience and I only know the intimate details of my situation and you are asking me- then yes, you are asking about my private business.

Do you know what it seems like. It seems like this……

Hi nice to meet you, how much money do you make?

  • Is Airbnb lucrative?
  • Are you able to cover the mortgage?
  • Do you have to have a second job?
  • How much do you get after Airbnb fees?

The answers to these questions are none of your business. When asked, I am put in the position of verbalizing my boundary, which sounds like….. Sorry, however we just met and I do not discuss my financial situation with strangers.

The gentlemen who asked me the lucrative question followed up my response with- Oh, I am not asking you about your money. We argued a little. Listen guy, yes, yes you are. Here is the definition of lucrative.

Some people feel bad after my boundary response, which puts me in the position of trying to smooth things out because they are guests in my home and I want them to feel comfortable. I have had to work really hard for this- a few times. My honest response brought an awkwardness to the situation that I felt fine about but I could tell my guest didn’t. They overstepped the bounds with their questions and now they feel bad because I responded honestly and shut down the conversation. Now I have to do the hard work to make it comfortable again.

In the future, think about what you’re asking, really think about it. If it requires divulging personal information then think twice asking a stranger about it.

The saying goes “Treat people how you want to be treated”. As much as I understand the lesson being conveyed, I think we should tweek it a bit to say- “Treat people how they would like to be treated.”

Airbnb: Drinking with the Russian Guest – Part 3 The End.

Albert called a truce on Twitter and we got to bottom of our issue. Our issue was caused by a glitch in the app and bad communication. Airbnb Lesson for the Week: Bad Communication will get you nowhere. Turns out, there is a glitch in the Android version of the Airbnb app. The glitch won’t allow you to see the ALL the House Rules for a listing. There are preset options from Airbnb that you have to choose from and there is additional space to put custom rules (the part he could not see). For now, I am just glad we have made peace. I already think communication is challenging enough with people you know, it can be even more challenging when you don’t know them. It is easy to misinterpret their intent based on their style of communication. Ultimately, I still think it wasn’t okay for him to take my personal information and bash me on Twitter to the point where strangers could identify me. I do understand it was his way to vent his frustration.

Yesterday when peace was made, he asked if I would like to meet for dinner. My schedule did not permit meeting so I asked if he would meet me at Box Social for a cocktail at 8p.m. the next day. He said yes.

On his way to meet me, he was in the area of town where a person jumped/ or was pushed off a parking garage into the downtown streets of Portland. Police Investigation is Underway. He is a great photographer and captured the incident with great detail (the body in the middle of the street). The pictures were gruesome however that’s real life so I find it fascinating. He told me in Russia that pictures like that are often sold to the media. Had he headed my way a few minutes earlier, the timing would have put him there to actually witness the event with his own eyes. How terrible.

We hung out for a few hours, drinking and chatting about his world travels, government red tape, being Russian in the United States right now, jobs and logistics. He is well-traveled – I am in awe of it. I have been craving adventure/travel for close to a year now. Life has required my attention be focused other things. Now that I have done my due diligence, I am ready for some fun!

I am such a light weight these days and after two drinks I am feeling saucy therefore it was time to go after that. I am also a bike only girl who has been too drunk to ride her bike home before ( that was a crazy fun night) as well as terribly funny to me when I realized I couldn’t get home by riding my bike. Did you know you can get a BUI in Portland?

One of the reasons I chose the Box Social was because I am a sucker for a fancy vodka cocktail. Their cocktails are bougie.

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I enjoyed a Doc Holiday and a Bleu Apple Fig Panini. For the second and final drink, I ended our time together with a Moscow Mule.

He will be traveling back to Russia in the morning so it was nice to meet before he left. We hugged it out and then parted ways but not before joking that he had a new follower on Twitter.

Thanks for extending the Olive Branch first Albert. Thanks for showing up. Thanks for staying in the conversation long enough to figure it out and for listening to my side.

Peace and Chicken Grease.

Airbnb: Getting Harassed by a Russian Guest Part 2- Twitter

Twitter time.

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I only joined Twitter to talk smack to President Trump. I can’t stand him. He is harmful to our nation. He is harming our nations standing in the world. He is harmful to the lives of women, children, immigrants/brown people, and anyone who isn’t rich. I could shout at him daily. I was good about it at first and then I stopped paying attention since it’s guaranteed that he says crazy things every day and I want to spend my time doing other things.

I was informed a couple of days ago by a very kind stranger that the guest that required kicking out (Albert) had turned to Twitter to bash me and I didn’t deserve it.

Albert claimed to be a famous Russian blogger that was going to destroy me. He actually ignored my request for non communication and continued to send me messages gaining momentum in aggressive language. I feel harassed. You can only call me a Cunt on Twitter so many times before I have something to say. He has great reviews on Airbnb. That guy didn’t show up to my house to stay. I think we see his true colors on Twitter.

The research has shown the following tweets.

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and so it begins.

After getting kicked out, he went to the Inner SE which is close to a homeless shelter and dive bars.

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He sent a message saying he was landing at 11:00p.m. My mistake in thinking he would come straight here to check in around 11:30p.m. or midnight. My check in window ends at 10:00p.m so I was already doing him a favor.

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so he can follow instructions.

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He didn’t read the details in the listing because it clearly states where the space is located. 5 Top Things Airbnb Guests Should Do

and there are lots of signs around for good communication, including an chalk board arrow in the hallway pointing in the direction of the guest room (which is what I wrote on the arrow sign) Airbnb Observation: I’ve decided if you do not like these signs then you do not like communication.

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I give everyone a fresh start. Fresh sheets, dust, trash, clean mirror, and a 420 kit along with a personalized name on a chalkboard for your room. 3 Top Things Airbnb Hosts Should Do

Drunk Guests are the Worst!

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He doesn’t remember. I came downstairs to see what was happening, I noticed he just arrived since he still had his shoes and was drunk I felt compelled to make sure he knew where the bathroom was and where to get water. I don’t need another guest “accidentally” trying to come in my room while “looking” for the bathroom when the listing states in 2 places the bathroom is downstairs and the bedrooms make up the entire upstairs of the place.

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Airbnb Lesson for the week: If you lie about reading the house rules, show up and violate them, then your stay with me will come to an end.

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After giving a mini tour, I tried to go back upstairs to go to bed. I had to be to work early and it is hard to go back to sleep when you wake up too much. He had questions though. Where could he smoke a cigarette? Smoking is not allowed on my property. He made faces and said – I can’t go out front? No. I can’t go out back? No. I reminded him that is states in the house rules (that he agreed to) He said he didn’t see that and gets out his phone to argue about it. I am grumpy from being rudely awoken and know he wants to argue. I shut down the conversation and say we can pick it up in the morning if there are still questions.

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This guy is killing me. Like it says in the house rules, the house is 420 friendly for guests since public consumption is illegal. I guess you lied about reading the house rules since you can’t seem to find them.

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I don’t argue with drunk people. Once I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I stopped the conversation and said we could pick it up in the morning.

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so the drunk guy thinks he is going to take action before I do. He sure talks a big game for someone who didn’t do a thing but complain on Twitter.

Before I went back to bed at 3:00a.m. I sent some messaging through Airbnb to document the situation. see messages here

at one point, I asked him to stop messaging and when he wouldn’t respect my request and wasn’t making sense or responding in an appropriate manner to the things being said, I knew I was going to have to have him leave.

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I called Airbnb first thing the next morning. They tried to call Albert but he didn’t answer. I had to go in the room with my phone. A case manager was going to tell him it was time to vacate the premise. Instead of keeping all his money, I would let them change his reservation to just one night.

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How does he think Airbnb will be on his side when they already told him he was wrong and had to leave?!?!

They already sided with me.

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He sure tweets a lot. I told the case manager I did not wish to pursue the penalty fee. I wanted to be done with him as fast as possible so I made it easy and let it all go. Look at him trying to be all big and egotastic……

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Did he get that refund he was demanding? Nope!

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He is trying to change his story and they are holding him to the agreed upon modification.

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He didn’t get his way and now he is whining away.

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I have worked hard for my Superhost status and he doesn’t have the power to take that away.

I have reported these messages to Airbnb.

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Actions speak louder than words. For the record: I have an Android phone not an iPhone. Get the facts straight.

I got it, he thinks that he can take advantage of my Super host status and their wouldn’t be consequences to his rude behavior.

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I can’t take it anymore and finally I say something.

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My favorite part is where he says Airbnb is not on my side this morning when he is at a crappy motel. He was asked to leave my residence. He did not get a full refund. He got his Airbnb privileges suspended. He has already complained about the situation. Which part do you think is confusing to him?

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I have a lot of gratitude out there for a particular person who gave me a heads up this Twitter bashing was happening. It should give everyone concern that someone can get your information legitimately and then take it to another platform where they intend to do you harm. Put enough information out there that strangers can identify you. I have an angel watching my back! I also am tired of being called a Cunt and the lies he is telling. He wants to sit back and act all big and bad and tell his followers a bunch of stuff that isn’t true. So I am here to give my side to the story and provide evidence along the way.

Twitter banter leads to a resolution..stay tuned for part 3 – meeting with the Russian.

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Airbnb: Getting Harassed by a Russian Guest: Part 1

I have been a host for Airbnb for 2 years and I have hosted over 350 people. People are people and patterns have revealed themselves. I have encountered all kinds of situations and behaviors – I thought I had seen it all. There is a first time for everything.  Lessons Consequences Choices Wisdom

Albert booked last-minute and sent a message saying he was landing at 11 pm. I took this to mean that he would be headed over straight from the airport and would be arriving around 11:30pm maybe midnight. My check-in window is from 3 p.m. to 10 p.m. however I always let guests check-in later since I have a lock box and they can self check-in. Most people have Respect and come in as quiet as possible or at least apologize for waking people up. Not this guy.

20180612_0808551415496442.jpgAlbert, showed up at 3 a.m.- drunk and woke up the house wearing shoes while clopping up and down the stairs. I went downstairs to use the restroom and check out what was happening. I found Albert on the stairs with a deer-in-headlights look on his face. I asked if he was wearing shoes.  He said yes.

I asked why, it’s a house rule (with a penalty fee for agreeing with them and then showing up and not following them).

 

Airbnb: These are my House Rules. Do you think they are reasonable? There is also a friendly reminder sign on the front door. 20180501_195549.jpg

It appeared he had just arrived.  Clearly he hadn’t read anything nor was he aware of the details so I felt compelled to point out the bathroom and guest area in the kitchen so he could get a glass of water.  As I headed back upstairs to go to bed he had more questions. I am a bit grumpy when rudely woken up in the middle of the night. He wanted to know where he could smoke a cigarette. Well….like the listing states there is no smoking cigarettes (tobacco) on the property. He got a quizzical look on his face and said he didn’t read that. Could he not step outside?….no. Could he not go out back?…..no. He argued and debated and I was growing more grumpy. It wasn’t the time for it.

He got out his phone to pull things up. At a glance, I could not tell where this information was located on his phone nor was I going to wake up enough to sort it out. When my eyes opened enough to read it was 3:09a.m. I instructed him to turn off the lights when he was done and we could talk about it in the morning.  Airbnb: I am a host not a 24 hour concierge desk

Before I went to bed, I sent some messages through Airbnb to document the situation.  I knew that I would be calling first thing in the morning to see what my options were.  I have attached all of them for your viewing pleasure. Start from Left to Right in each row.

Someone needs to learn the difference between a House Manual and House Rules.  I even write in the manual to look at the rules for people who are slow or lack attention to detail.

I am an early riser.  I called Airbnb at 7:30a.m. to explain what was happening.  I was assigned a case manager who assisted with me in the process of changing a reservation. He called Albert several times to inform him it was time to vacate- Albert didn’t answer (shocker).  So when the case manager called me back, I said yes I was willing to knock on the door so they could speak on my phone.  Time for Albert to go.  He required me asking him when he was going to leave, he was just chillin’ in bed so I was forced to call Airbnb back to confirm it could be immediately since Albert was trying to say he had until check out time.  Why would he possibly want to stay any longer?

In the past, the guest leaves, I get to keep all the money since they violated the terms and conditions of the agreement.  This time I compromised and let him out of it by agreeing to let the reservation be altered to just one nights stay.  I also cancelled the request for the penalty fee for wearing shoes in the house.  I was willing to let him off easy just to get rid of him so I could move on to the next guest, who would be nothing short of awesome in comparison.

With Albert gone, I hung out with my other French guest, who had cooked us a delicious dinner the night before.

I had the best guest and the worst guest at the same time.  Good thing I like to focus on the positive. Back to the happy place.

Until I received a message from a kind stranger informing me that Albert was trashing me on Twitter, I mean really having a go at me. To the point where a kind stranger could identify me, reach out to me and let me know what was happening. I thought I was free and clear of his harassment.

Time to remember the Twitter password.

Part 2 coming next……